Advance Wars Drabbles
by Hiro Konobu
Summary: Just various short oneshots, and drabble fics in the Advance Wars world meant to be funny, and that parody genre will be applied in certain chapters, Ch. 33: The 2nd assaination plot chapter.
1. Backdraft Rhythm

Advance Wars Drabbles

Drabble 1: Backdraft Rhythm

By Hiro Konobu

"Truthfully this idea came up when I was talking to someone about Advance Wars the other day just random sketch comedy from most of the Advance Wars characters, and I don't own anything except my fics."

(We see Jake just listening to his music at Orange Star headquarters two Orange Star soldiers are behind his back talking…let's just call them Mike and Carlos)

"You know I heard rumors that whenever Jake doesn't his headphones he goes crazy." Mike said to his friend.

"I heard that Jake also manages to draw crude pictures of the other CO's mainly Kindle." Carlos said back to his buddy.

"I think that would be obvious to why no one likes her you know with her being stuck up and all." Mike said to Carlos.

"That's true, you think that Jake wouldn't be able to live without his headphones?" Carlos said back to Mike.

"Probably not but let's see what happens when we say that his headphones suck." Mike said to Gary while looking over Jake.

"Hey Jake your headphones and music suck!" Mike said loudly towards Jake, as he doesn't listen to his words due to the headphones he has on right now.

"Maybe this should work…" OS soldier two had grabbed some scissors out of thin air and cut Jake's headphones only to find out that Jake's music was still playing somehow.

"How can this be he isn't getting angry at us…maybe we should ask him why." Carlos says.

"Say Jake how can you still be listening to music when your headphone wire has been cut?" Mike says to Jake.

"What I can't hear you come closer." Jake said.

"What my friend is trying say is that how are those headphones working without those wires?" Carlos said to Jake.

"Come closer you two I still can't hear you." Jake said as Mike and Carlos came closer…_Whap!_ Only to both get punched out by Jake at the same time. "Never ever mess with my music or headphones…now I have to get back to listening to my CD known as "Punchline."

End Sketch 1

"Truthfully I had intended to make this more an actual fic rather than a drabble but you know time constraints..."


	2. Paintball Dandelions

Variety Sketching

Drabble: 2-Paintball Dandelions

By Hiro Konobu

"Welcome to the second chapter of this fic, and once again I don't own anything except my fics."

2-Paintball Dandelions

(We see a figure covered in black and with white hair at night pouring some sort of pesticides on a dandelion field)

"Well Jess this should teach you not to say that my air units suck, though I actually wanted to this for some time." The figure said while pouring the pesticides out on said field

(As the figure leaves we skip to the next morning where Jess is in shock)

"Stupid Dandelion destroyers don't they appreciate how much skill it takes to keep a Dandelion field intact…wait there's a card here." As Jess picks it up it reads…

Hello Jess I guess you're wondering why you have no flowers left in your field well it's because you said that air units suck a few days ago the only reason I didn't take care of your field earlier is cause I had to get said pesticides, from Eagle.

"Eagle I knew you didn't get along with me, but going that far was just ridiculous." Jess says after reading the card.

(Three days later we see Eagle looking over his air units and about take one out for a short flight)

"Hmm which air unit should use today I used my battle copter a few days ago practicing getting some shots on some non-descript targets but then again…" Eagle says before getting into one of his copters only to find out…"Who puts bubble bath in a copter really, who does." Now as Eagle decides to get out of his copter after that bubble bath he finds that his air units have been sabotaged with various things from mud to hot sauce. "I wonder who do something like to my air units…I think the fat porker Drake has something to do with messing with my air units besides who else could show hatred on even a lowly transport copter." Before Eagle could put an assumption on Drake he finds a card next to said transport copter. "I wonder what it says…" Now Eagle decides to read said card and it says:

Hello Eagle I think you might know who this is, besides you ruined my dandelion field some time ago well as payment for doing that last night I stole…scratch that I dumped all of the fuel for your planes in my tanks…(They were the same kind my tanks use enjoy being grounded from, Jess.

"Oh I think it's time to do some pranks on Jess tomorrow good thing I bought these paintballs the other day while I was with Sami."

(We pan out to see Jess laughing in the same vicinity when Eagle found out about the air units fuel getting stolen also she finds out about the paintballs)

"Well I guess Eagle's pissed about me stealing his fuel, and now since I hear he's going to put paintballs into his planes…" Jess says as she prepares accordingly to Eagle's last statement.

(We skip to the dawn of the next day where we see Eagle in a battle copter along with some other air units armed to the teeth with paintballs)

"Today I give Jess a what for as I shall do a fly-by shooting all of her tanks with paintballs she'll be pissed." Eagle says as he laughs and nears his destination and sees some tanks placed already and Eagle's copter almost gets hit. "What the!" Eagle said as a low flying paintball surprised him.

"So Eagle are you surprised that I actually decided to try and counter your plan?" Jess says to Eagle

"A little, but how were you able to get paintballs?" Eagle asks Jess

"While I was carrying the fuel I stole from you I saw some paintballs and decided to steal those as well." Jess said while trying to hold her laughter in.

"Jess no wonder why I don't like you…" Eagle said as he went down to start a proverbial paintball war."

(As many paintballs fly across the Green Earth base Javier and Drake pass around a couple of words around while this paintball fight is going around)

"Told ya Jess hates Eagle, Javier." Drake says to Javier.

"So that's why Jess mentioned to me earlier about that glaring problem about Eagle's personality being most abrasive." Javier says back to Drake

"Yes and have you noticed how this drabble is going, it's not even a drabble no more it's more like a one-shot…" Drake said

"Maybe thou author should edit the mighty title of this fic." Javier says while confusing Drake.

"Javier what did you say? You middle aged knight with a child's brain?" Drake asks him with a slight hint of anger in his voice.

"Maybe thou author should edit the mighty title of this fic, fat porker." Javier says in an angry voice.

"What the…if you're a so-called knight you're not supposed to say stuff like that?" Drake says angrily to Javier.

"Actually I am when I'm at Green Earth base or when you try to insult me like that." Javier says in a sarcastic voice.

(After this line was said Drake and Javier go at it fighting each other while Jess and Eagle are about to finish their fight as you can see from all the paintballs littered across the base)

"So Jess you give up yet?" Eagle says to Jess

"No I think you should take a look behind you Eagle" Jess said before Eagle found out about the paintball being plastered on his copter.

"Jess how were you able to get that on there?" Eagle said

"Well during Javier's and Drake's talk before their fight I saw listening in so I made a strike on your copter." Jess said

"Well played Jess…" Eagle said while lowering his head.

"Pa-pa-pa-pow!" Jess said with a grin on her face.

"No Tank Girl references…Hannah."

"You do not call me by my Japanese name Eagle, tanks shoot down his copter with extreme prejudice." Jess says with a glare.

(Now what happens next is that Eagle had his copter shot down thus ending the conflict, and don't worry Eagle isn't dead)

End Drabble 2/One-Shot 1

"Oh yeah about that Hannah bit I was looking at differences on the Japanese version of Advance Wars and that's how that joke was done."


	3. Lucky Or Paranoid

Advance Wars Drabbles

Drabble 3: Lucky Or Paranoid

By Hiro Konobu

"See previous chapters for the disclaimers."

(We see Nell is a meeting with her fellow Orange Star CO's as the sketch starts)

"Hello My fellow Orange Star CO's I have some vital info I need to give you all here are just some sheets on stuff that you simply need not to do." Nell says as she passing sheets to the other CO's

"No offense sis but these are just sheets on what not to do to get bad luck." Rachel says while looking over the sheets.

"Rachel is mad right you know these are just some sheets on what Rachel said, let's see from not breaking some mirrors, avoiding black cats and the like." Jake said while he read out some of the things on the list.

"Nell I think your need to have good luck and not have it ruined has gone a little too far…" Sami said

"Yeah who needs luck when you have skill." Max said

"Kindle when she gets angry over Jake crudely drawn pictures of her, also I'm still angry at her because she made a clone of me." Andy said.

"I really wouldn't blame you and Jake if you actually killed her. Rachel said

(Now before anything else was said…)

"Enough just don't do these things okay…" Nell said before dismissing the Orange Star CO's for now. "Now to get back to what I was doing, oh yeah just brag about how lucky I am."

(Now as she walking out of her office we see two people trying something to mess with Nell's luck.)

"Okay I've got the black cat Domino…" The other person gets hit after saying the name wrong.

"Don't call me by my Japanese name the readers will get confused Andy or should I say Ryo." Sami said as Andy gave her the black cat.

"Sorry Sami I thought I could give the readers a fact based joke." Andy said

"Can't blame you for wanting to do that, but let's get this black cat out on Nell's path and you get ready with this pot to drop near her." Sami said as she gave Andy the pot, and let the black cat go off to scare Nell.

"Got ya I'm going to the position now." Andy said

"Yes I'm still lucky, folks, besides I found three dollars earlier while walking and somehow avoiding a dodgeball before getting hit with it." Nell said while still walking around, and now she gets shocked when a black cat crosses her path. "What the a black cat I shouldn't worry though, because I'm so luck…Oompf." Nell said as a pot hits her.

"Andy! You were supposed to drop the pot near Nell, not on her you idiot!" Sami said to Andy angrily.

"Well I thought it would have more impact on her psyche." Andy said while lowering his head.

"Andy you are an…idiot…" Sami said before sighing.

(We skip about an hour later where Nell has some bandages on her head walking through another part of Orange Star HQ)

"Okay maybe that was just coincidence that pot had landed on me now I'm sure that…I'm still lucky." Nell said, as she didn't notice she walked right under a ladder that seemed to blatantly set up by someone else.

"Dude, Rachel your sis just walked under that ladder that was set up blatantly…you know what to do right?" Jake said with a grin on his face.

"Right Jake…I know" Rachel said as she pressed a switch that activated something to fall on Nell.

"Say what's that whistling sound…" Nell said before a pie pan…yes a pie pan hit her knocking her out.

"Say Jake who was in charge of placing the objects in the ceiling?" Rachel said slightly confused

"I think it was Hachi who did so…he was drunk at the time, also Sami was there, also drunk by the way…and." Before Jake could finish, Rachel elbowed him.

"Almost too much information there Jake…I really think we may have scared the readers if we know what they thought…" Rachel said with worry.

(A little later in the day…)

"Hey Max how are you?" Nell said.

"Hey Nell how are you doing right now?" Max said back to Nell.

"Not good I've been very unlucky as of late for some reason." Nell said to Max.

"I also see that you've also been unlucky in terms of your face…well look at it." Max said as he hands Nell a mirror.

"Max it seems my facial beauty has gone with all of those hits to my head." Nell said as she dropped the mirror as she said it."

"Nell I think breaking a mirror causes seven years bad luck…" Max said as Nell starts to act a little crazy, and seems to laugh too.

"Ok…now I know bad luck can't happen to me…I'm always lucky." Nell said as she laughs and goes through every bad luck cliché till she breaks her back on a crack.

(Later at Orange Star hospital we see the other CO's lamenting on this situation.)

"I can't believe that the whole break your mother's back turned out to be breaking their own back, in this case my sisters back…" Rachel said.

"Dude…super weak." Jake said.

"My thought's exactly." Andy said

"I thought that her luck wouldn't get ruined so easily…" Max said

"Umm…guys I hate to say this but I think I'm pregnant…" Sami said

(A state of shock is heard after Sami's statement)

"Who knocked you up a notch…" Max said before Sami, and Rachel slapped him/knocked him out.

"So who's the father." Andy asks

"…I think what I said earlier my see that a certain old guy is…the father…" Jake said

"Jake's right…Hachi is the father…"

(Everyone is shocked at this as well and the readers possibly the same)

"I'd like to apoligize for the horrible bit with Sami being pregnant…there was a theory on a website that proposed what if Sami and got well you know by Hachi…well sorry for that, and please don't erase this fic because of it."

End Drabble/One-Shot 3


	4. Four References

Advance Wars Drabbles

Ch. 4 Four References

By Hiro Konobu

(Place: Black Hole HQ where we see Kindle acting like she usually does)

"Ah ha ha! I'm positively smart and gorgeous besides I'm Kindle no one can match me in terms of anything!" Kindle said

"Hhh…hhhh…Kindle…hhh…come here….hhhh…for a…second." Von Bolt said right towards Kindle.

"Ah ha ha! Yes what is it Lord Von Bolt?"

"Hhh…we…hhh…need…hhh…a…new…hhh…plan…to…hhh…take out…the…hhh…allied…hhh…trash…hhh…Kindle…"

(After this line was said a figure just appears out of nowhere)

"Maybe I can help…Lord Von Bolt." The figure said.

"How can you help our cause? You weren't even involved in our last campaign…Sturm." Kindle said to Sturm.

"Damn, how did you know I was back here?" Sturm said coming out of the darkness, which is convenient for all bad guys to be when speaking ominously.

"Hhh…the…hhh…pink…hhh…alien…hhh…mask…hhh." Von Bolt said.

"What? It's very popular where I come from." Sturm said while sulking.

"Ok…Darth, I'm assuming that you come from a "Death Star" don't you? Ah ha ha!" Kindle said.

"…Just can it with the laughing already that's why so many people hate you as much as how fangirls hate it when their favorite character dies." Sturm said while making a comparison to Kindle.

"Hhh…I'll…hhh…just…hhh…leave." Von Bolt said as he left the area for now.

"Oh yeah at least I don't have a pink mask…" Kindle said

"Again! Do not mess with the mask!" Sturm said but before leaving…"Oh yeah before I leave I want you to have this tape." Sturm said while handing the tape to Kindle.

"Ah ha ha! What manner of childishness is this? Oh well I'll just watch it before I act like that child-like Knight Javier."

(Later we see Kindle actually watching the tape)

"I guess this is interesting it is giving me good info about the author earlier works, shame that he's been on for two years and hasn't gotten a fic over ten reviews yet." Kindle said but after her remark the tape started to act a little glitchy. "I'm going to kill Sturm for giving me a bad tape."

"Four references…" The tape said in an eerie voice.

"What does that even mean!" Kindle said while confused.

"It just means you will die when you hear four more references…not including this one, however quotes count." The eerie voice explained.

"Ok now you got me wondering why this isn't counted as a reference." Kindle said while scratching her head.

"I don't know…ask the author later he's the one who's writing this…" The voice said before the tape ended.

"Ok it's like four references are just going to fly by like that…" Kindle said as she walked by…Adder reading a certain fanfic.

"Hey Adder what are you reading online?" Kindle asked Adder.

"Well to quote a line from the manga I'm reading the third chapter of the author's "Bin Switch" fic…""Deep Blue You know you made a very tactical error in your strategy, why you remember why it takes so long to build up Sami's CO power don't you? Here it is "Victory March!" yeah just goes to show that the author goes to far in trying to impress people with his so called "balanced reference humor."

"Yeah…I guess so, ah ha ha!" Kindle said before leaving abruptly.

"I don't blame her most of Hiro Konobu's fics are horrible…" Adder said.

"Okay that was weird Adder having a fanfiction addiction…wait that was one reference when Adder said something about his Bin Switch fic, but still the tape can't be really true can it" Kindle said before running into Lash.

"Hello Kindle beautiful day to destroy stuff don't you think?" Lash says in her typical tone of talking.

"Umm…why yes it is, ah ha ha!" Kindle said.

"Well I have to go now and destroy some Timesplitters that have recently showed up to a failed experiment also this explains why I have some K-SMG's in my coat pockets…well see you later Kindle." Lash runs off to do what she said she was going to do.

"Ok now that's two…what I need to do is get to Sturm and kill him for what he's trying to pull on me." Kindle said as she tries to get out but it seems Hawke was hanging out right near the stealth fighters.

"…" Hawke just stares

"What is it Hawke?"

"…There's another hole in the ozone layer…" Hawke said before heading off.

"Ok that was weird…I don't need a Yellow Comet Inquisition popping out of nowhere…" Kindle said before…

"Nobody expects the Yellow Comet Inquisition…" Kanbei and Sonja come in then say some words then get out of the vicinity.

"Oh crap…I've got one more reference left…" Kindle said.

"Actually you don't, remember that quote Hawke said that's a quote reference to SSX 3." The voice said seeming to now be in a physical form of one of your typical horror based little girls.

(After this segment we skip forward to see Kindle on the ground pretty much dead…though two people come up to her.)

"…Look Adder let's smash the bowling pin." Flak said

"Let's not…look I see a tape let's watch it." Adder said as both Flak and Adder head off to watch the tape, also in the distance you see that same voice laugh hard.

End Ch. 4

"If you need the references I'll say them next chapter."


	5. The Talk, Or Something Like It

Advance Wars Drabbles

Ch. 5: The Talk, Or Something Like It

By Hiro Konobu

"Truthfully this idea came up when I was talking to someone about Advance Wars the other day just random sketch comedy from most of the Advance Wars characters, and I don't own anything except my fics, also to explain some references that may have not been obvious last chapter besides Star Wars, The Ring, SSX, Monty Phyton, Timesplitters, and a direct reference to one of my other fics in which I had a reference to this game, now start the short chapter."

(Starts off at Blue Moon HQ with Colin just about to activate his CO Power in what looks like to be an exhibition match of some kind against Sasha.)

"Hey Sis! Check this out!" Colin said while about to activate his regular CO Power.

(Sasha says something about Colin never saving for his Super CO Power at this point)

"Uhh…brother why don't you ever save up for your power of money? I'm just curious."

"I'm honestly not too sure sis...maybe it's due to the fact I can get stuff at a cheaper price along with gold rush…I'll just say I could flood you with units quicker than the average CO can, also I think that's the way I've always used when it comes down to strategy." Colin says to his sister.

"Ok Colin, but did you have to make the explanation ridiculously long?" Sasha said while hanging her head down.

"So I could distract you while I was activating my gold rush CO power, because behold my Megatank." Colin said while pointing at one of his factories.

"Colin I think even though you still activated gold rush due to a response to a market crash I used earlier. But still you do know while you were attacking my units, you've made me very, very…upset." Sasha said, as she got ready to use her Super CO Power known only as war bonds.

(Now during this time we see Colin Megatank destroyed as well as Sasha buying her own Megatank from her Super CO Power)

"Colin I really think you should have paid attention to how much of a CO meter I had if you were smarter you would have bought some weaker unit that could not have given me so much money." Sasha said to her brother.

"Sis…forget it I think I deserved it…" Colin said with a sigh.

"Don't worry about it brother besides you're going to end up losing anyway soon." Sasha said slightly sarcastically.

(Now as Colin was about to go at it with his sister we skip to Olaf and Grit watching this exhibition match of sorts)

"Hey "O Bearded One" why are we even watching this match?" Grit said to Olaf.

"Well Grit…I just want to see Colin lose to his sister…again." Olaf said to Grit.

"Well I can tell ya' this much, I think the author is trying to recreate chapter two in a sense." Grit said after thinking about it.

"Yeah but I'm going to use this plot hole device before any fat jokes are made…and have a fight like at Green Earth recently." Olaf said before using said plot hole device

(As Olaf uses the plot hole device it turns out that we see that Sasha's units have owned Colin units)

"Sis that was uncalled for using some infantry to take out my last unit which was tank…you could have finished me off with something heavier at least?" Colin said

"Sorry Colin but I just don't like when you waste CO Powers like you did." Sasha said.

End Ch. 5

"I personally think that this short drabble chapter spoke it's reasoning for itself, regarding Colin's CO Powers."


	6. Captain Drake

Advance Wars Drabbles

Ch. 6 Captain Drake

By Hiro Konobu

"To explain some of the nuances in this chapter this is actually a slight tribute to late Captain Jack as the song is a parody of a certain DDR known as "Captain Jack." Now to signify who's singing/speaking during this song fic tribute chapter DrakeNormal, (Javier)(Parentheses), _JessItalic,_ **EagleBold**, unless otherwise stated, and I still only own my under-reviewed fics."

(As we start theChapter we see Drake surfing)

"You know it makes me wonder how even if I'm so fat, how I can surf…" As soon as Drake says this, his board breaks and falls into the sea…for some reason he's floating. "Hey if I was thin would I still be able float and not drown…damn Brainiac reference…" Drake said as he got to land and his radio

(Now Drake is about to listen to his radio after losing his surfboard for a bit when…)

"Hello your listening to the "Radio Hiro Chop Block" 45 minutes of almost non-stop music and here's something new for your ears…sort of, first time I listened to these guys someone left the CD in my car, good for me, bad for them, and great for you here's the Green Storm Flash."

"**Ohh…bring me back to the naval base hey ho.**"

"Hey this song sounds strangely familiar…and it's getting a little bit louder too." As Drake says this he didn't notice the car behind him well till the next few lines any way.

"**Hey ho**. (Captain Drake)"

"**Hey ho**. (Captain Drake)"

"**Bring me back to the naval base.**"

"(Bring me back to the naval base.)"

"**Give me a cannon in my ship.**"

"(Give me a cannon in my ship.)"

"**I will shoot it all around.**"

"(I will shoot it all around)"

"**The up down cruise, the naval force, a momentous shift.**"

"**Ooohh…bring me back to the naval base oh way oh.**"

(At this point we see a green tank come in Drake starts to run…)

"**Ooohh…bring me back to the naval base oh way oh.**"

(…However due to being a "fat porker" he really didn't get that far and is promptly picked up somehow by the other Green Earth CO's…don't ask me how… and now Jess starts to sing her lines.)

"_We are driving to the naval base right along with Captain Drake, ba-dee-da-do, dee-da-do, dee-da-de-da-do run along with Captain Drake, dee-da-do, dee-da-do, dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-do, up, down, up, down._"

"So Jess why would you be the one driving this tank?"

"_Drake now I understand why you were made into a clone in the Omega Land Wars…_"

"**For once I'd have to agree with Jess aside from her hitting me with paintballs or artillery shells.**"

"_Don't worry Eagle I'm still going to hurt you even if you try to suck up to me, and your part is up next._"

"**Ooohh…bring me back to the naval base oh way oh.**"

"Why did you just tarnish the legend of the late Captain Jack?" As Drake asks his fellow Green Earth friends getting out of the tank that they used to get there.

"_Hey blame it on the author he wanted to tribute Captain Jack but this was the only way that he could do so._"

"(That was mostly an respectable thing to do honoring him but I still think he screwed up a little.)

"**To each their own I say…stupid author trying to signify us with different font styles…I wanted an underline style.**"

End Ch. 6

Eagle: Screw you author!


	7. Koal Gets Owned

Advance Wars Drabbles

Ch. 7: Koal Gets Owned

By Hiro Konobu

"I Hiro Konobu still only own my fanfics, I do not own anything the would get the sue-happy law sharks on me, and this chapter is based on something that happened in an actual game the CO's have been changed to protect the innocent ones."

"Heh, heh, heh…my victory is all but certain on Piston Dam." A figure looks on the battlefield.

"Are you sure Koal I just get this weird felling that you might lose within ten days." A black hole soldier said

"That will not happen even if that does I'll…stop eating ramen for two weeks and stop with being like a samurai and go ninja for those two weeks." Koal said confidently.

"You know, if you go "Naruto" on us, can I have your sword for two weeks?"

"Why would need my sword if I lost?" Koal said while in thought.

"I found a map to Atari I want to slice up the people who screwed up the controls to "Tempest" they really deserve it." Black hole soldier said

"Okay I'll let you use my sword if what I said comes to fruition. Come to think of it, they have been dealing in a certain amount of bad games lately so I'd understand." Koal said

"Hey Koal is that ninja thing true, if it is so, then that gives me more reason to beat you as fast as I can fools." Jake said as he approached Piston Dam.

"What makes you so sure that you can win headphone boy?"

"I have a plan that will give you a beatdown in 6-8 days pasty." Jake said confidently while insulting Koal on the inside.

"Boy then that gives me more reason to beat you, why for calling me pasty…its on." Koal said angrily.

(6 war days later)

"What the how could I lose to you, I'm a movement CO how could I lose to someone that has a ripped jacket?" Koal said in bewilderment.

"Eh, it was really a nice and sick plan; on day one I would build infantry and a T-Copter. On day two fake you out by making you think I'm going for the airport. In days three through six I used recons as blockers, and sealed the sweet deal by capturing your HQ, oh yeah enjoy being a ninja for your two weeks Koal." Jake said victoriously, before Koal had left the area.

(All we can say here is that Koal has started to act like a Ninja as promised in his bet, then there's a trial for that black hole soldier that assaulted the people from Atari for screwing up the controls on a classic collection of games.)

End Ch. 7

P.S.: Leave a review and happy new year to all the readers…


	8. Komputer Kontrolled

Advance Wars Drabbles

Ch. 8: Komputer Kontrolled

By Hiro Konobu

"Truthfully this idea came up when I was talking to someone about Advance Wars the other day just random sketch comedy from most of the Advance Wars characters, and I don't own anything except my fics."

(Chapter starts off with Sonja talking to her father about a computer)

"So father are you really sure you can use this computer without me needing to help you?" Sonja said before leaving out

"Of course not daughter, how do you turn this contraption on again?" Kanbei says while trying to find the switch to the computer.

Sonja sighs and flips a switch that turns on the computer "Father it was over here are you really sure that you don't need me to help you out?"

"I'm really sure now go and do what you were going to do to try and stop your bad luck problems...and please stop seeing Andy…"

"First off, stop interfering in my love life father cause I like Andy and I'm going to see him no matter what, also I don't have bad luck father, besides I don't believe in that crazy…" As Sonja said this she slips over a wet tile that a yellow comet soldier was wiping up, and falls outside the building.

"Generic Yellow Comet soldier why did you just make my only daughter slip like that?"

"Hey chill out Emperor Kanbei she probably just didn't see the sign that said wet floor but I see that she's still ok."

"How is she still ok? That's my only daughter!" Kanbei said to the Generic Yellow Comet Soldier while in his face.

"Cause if take a look out that window she only fell out of the first floor."

"Okay then, however you shall get more warning signs before you continue got that?"

(The Generic Yellow Comet Soldier just nods and heads to get more signs while Kanbei heads back to the computer he was working on)

"Ok now what did my daughter say about opening something on this thing, oh yeah, click this symbol that says open Internet on it." Kanbei said as he clicks on the symbol to open it. "Now what do they mean by screen name?" Kanbei said as Sensei showed up...a few minutes later…spotting Kanbei in a very weird position on the computer.

"Kanbei what are trying to do to that computer, besides give the readers nightmares." Sensei said as he looked over Kanbei appearing to well you know…as Kanbei noticed Sensei walking in the room.

"Oh nothing" Kanbei said as he got off the computer "I'm trying to get this Internet thing to work." Kanbei said to Sensei.

"Oh it's simple you just click on the button that says sign in along with your screen name…" Sensei said as Kanbei interrupted him.

"Screen name what's that?" Kanbei said, as he looked puzzled at what Sensei meant.

"It's just a name you use when you go online…like mine Wiseman292." Sensei said as he logged into the Internet. "Hmm… looks like have E-mail." Sensei said as the computer booted up.

"What's E-mail" Kanbei said as he made it sound naive.

"Kanbei I think that you not knowing how to use a computer is sad even more so when someone older knows how to do so." Sensei said as he left leaving Kanbei to figure out how to use the computer.

"Well I guess I'm on my own for this…" Kanbei said, as he got ready to try it again.

(19 minutes later after a blatant author plot hole)

"Finally it works and I have my own generic online name too." As soon as he spoke this the computer froze. "How dare a computer next to the almighty Kanbei freeze!" After this was said Kanbei takes out his trusty katana for some reason he actually remembered it…

(Another 7 minutes later…and more plot hole abuse Sonja comes back very surprised at what Kanbei did to her computer.)

"Dear God father! What have you done to my computer?" Sonja said with a shocked look on her face.

"I have destroyed the computing menace that froze on me." Kanbei said to his daughter, with bits and pieces of the computer on the floor as well as other assorted stuff lie on the ground due to Kanbei's rage.

"Umm…Kanbei computers are supposed to do that, now you owe me a new computer father." Sonja said with a fearful grin on her face, also before Kanbei could speak again Sonja had these words to say. "What can I say Kanbei, I guess computers aren't your forte…and you can quote me on that."

End Ch. 8

"Yeah Sonja pretty much summed up the chapter."


	9. Refrential Humor

Advance Wars Drabbles

By Hiro Konobu

Ch. 9: Refrential Humor

"Truthfully this idea came up when I was talking to someone about Advance Wars the other day just random sketch comedy from most of the Advance Wars characters, and I don't own anything except my fics...and yes I'm still lazy..."

(Scene starts off at an Orange Star base before battle, though something is amiss with the situation.)

"Hello all of you just before we go into battle I'd like to say…where are my headphones?"

"Honestly I was beginning to wonder why he looked a little different today." One of the soldiers said while he had whispered while Jake rambles on.

"So is that why is Jake acting so crazy at the moment?"

"Yes, it's because Jake goes sort of mental when he doesn't have his headphones."

"Didn't the author already do this in another fic?"

"Yes he did, but he didn't do it this way."

"Oh well let's just hope he doesn't get called on this in a bad way."

"So in turn, until my headphones are returned I we will not go and while we are not going I shall subject you to the worst possible punishment I can think of."

As soon as he said that all of his soldiers said…"what could possibly be worse?"

"Oh you'll see…" Jake said as he got a boom box and pressed play, what came out of it was…(Insert bad Rap song here)…yeah I know that was low…

"Dear sweet…Nell…what is that!" All of the soldiers said in tandem.

"It's bad Rap music only I can stand its certain ways. Now if you want this bad music to stop, whoever has my headphones bring them personally, and don't worry I will not shoot them, also I will turn my back as well and if it's not I'll dock all your pay…either that or take away your rations…for a week. Jake said as he proceeded to turn his back, and hopefully will get his headphones back.

(Five minutes later…no head phones have been spotted yet)

"Were still not going anywhere till I have my headphones and you're still not getting any caption towards who's speaking till they're returned." Jake said while trying not to make the author look lazy.

"I think we can explain see after you knocked us out we wanted vengeance from chapter one."

"Uhh…who are you two?" Jake said while confused, also the music mentioned from before was still blaring.

"The two people who messed with your headphones in the first chapter of this fic…Mike and Carlos." Mike said while trying to not look as stupid as he would by doing this.

"Exactly, here's your headphones, I also think that we should get some more speaking roles in these…" Carlos said as he handed Jake his headphones before both Carlos and Mike get knocked out.

"Now that I have my headphones back we go off to battle, but..."

(Later on the battlefield we see Mike and Carlos acting as decoys towards a Black Hole B-Copter…and yes this one can withstand Anti-Air vehicles)

"I wonder if this is going to be our fate if we become reoccurring characters." Mike said while trying to avoid B-Copter fire.

"Maybe we should join Blue Moon Mike at least we wont have deal with headphone crazy psychos." Carlos said before the B-Copter got shot down by so-called stray missile fire.

"They shouldn't call me a headphone crazy psycho…" Jake said while laughing discretely.

End Ch. 9

"Who knows I might just make Mike and Carlos actual characters in this fic…if there's enough positive response."


	10. Valentines Buffet Of Breaks

Advance Wars Drabbles

Ch. 10: Valentine's Buffet of Breaks

By Hiro Konobu

"Like always I only own my fics and this chapter is a Valentine's Day special."

"You know I really don't get Valentine's Day, Sami what is it for?" Eagle said

"Well this holiday is primarily for us girls…so I can completely understand Eagle." Sami said

"How so, I mean were buying you stuff while we, wait it's coming to me, stupid plot holes." Eagle said.

"So you're still buying me something for Valentines Day right?" Sami said with a grin.

"Maybe, who knows? I could get you a long hair wig or some chocolates, seeing as you like that and either that or a shoujo-ai-liaison with Sonja, of course I would worry but I would have to…ow!" Eagle said before getting hit by Sami.

"Eagle if your implying what I think you are, well let me tell you **I'm not a lesbian!** Now get me my Valentine's Day gift or suffer the consequences from a Victorious Parade!" Sami said angrily before storming off.

"Wow what get her riled up? Besides, it could be true." Eagle said while going off to find something for Sami.

(Around 16 minutes later we see Eagle at a store)

"Ok first stop Orange Star Department Store, and the good part about this is that I already know what to get her too." Eagle said while entering the store, although Andy and Jake notice him immediately.

"Hey Eagle what's up?" Jake says in his typical slang.

"Uhh…the sky Jake that's what's up." Eagle said somewhat sarcastically towards Jake.

"Oh come on Eagle you don't always have to always act so abrasive towards people?" Andy said.

"It's not like I did that on purpose that was all I could think of to say when Jake said that." Eagle said while trying to defend himself.

"Right, and that's why you will always be known as Eagle the vagina." Andy said in a sarcastic tone…in which Eagle tries to dash at Andy so he could inflict pain on him, though Jake holds him back.

"Jake! Let go, I'm not letting Andy get away with calling me a vagina, that and referencing something that shouldn't have been said." Eagle said while trying to get out of Jake's grip.

"Look just chill Eagle, besides you could get Andy back later sure he might be a tactical genius, but other than that he's actually quite dumb." Jake said while he was holding Eagle back to some level.

"Your right Jake…I'll just deal with that later." Eagle said while cooling down. "So what are you two doing here?" Eagle asks Andy and Jake.

"I'm here to buy a new computer for Sonja, I hear her father completely destroyed her other one." Andy said while walking towards some computers.

"For me I'm going to get Rachel some perfume, a bouquet of flowers for Jess which I already bought, and Sasha, well I'm going to get her a CD. Jake said as he noticed Andy walking off. "Well seeing as Andy has such a short attention span I'll see you later." Jake said while going off in the direction Andy went off to.

"Well I guess it's time for me to get some chocolates for Sami then?" Eagle heads off to an aisle where he can get some chocolates only to find that there being mobbed by a group of people who want them for their girls…primarily the female CO's of all Orange Star though the primary one that's represented is one for, "The Sami Lovers Group" but it also included "Nell's Brigade" though shockingly no one has one up for Rachel, though while Eagle saw this he also saw Max trying to his luck to get some chocolates

"Out of my way I need these chocolates for Nell…and I'm not with any brigade, Nell or skateboarding-wise." Max said as he was charging towards some chocolates like there was no tomorrow and throwing interlopers around.

"Hmm…well since Max is here…I might as well help him, besides I see he may just be taken down due to everyone about to gang up on him." Eagle said, as he was about to join the fight.

"Give us the chocolates!" A random bystander said before Eagle came up and punched him.

"Eagle! What are you doing here?" Max said with some surprise on his face while still fending off the "fanboy brigade."

"Getting chocolates for Sami, you know how she loves those things." Eagle said while making his way through lots of people to get those chocolates, also in some way two boxes fell into Max's hands while he was making his way through to get chocolates.

"Indeed, hey Eagle let's get out of here…somehow thanks to a plot-hole I have two chocolate boxes in my hands." Max said as two boxes somehow fall into both of his hands.

"Ok now lets go I'm not going to ask how you got them..." Eagle said before running out of the area but since Max wasn't paying attention, both Max and Eagle fall into a shopping cart and just glide through more of those "fanboys" and even some "fangirls" as they get out of the store.

(33 minutes, and one store left in ruins later, also at Orange Star HQ)

"Hey Sami where are you? I have your chocolates." Eagle said while entering with Max, though he seeks out Nell.

"So Eagle I see you got my chocolates, good job fly boy." Sami said with a grin on her face also appearing in front of him.

"A quick question Sami, can I say it?" Eagle said.

"Sure Eagle I don't mind." Sami said.

"Am I the only Green Earth CO here?" Eagle said before getting hit by an artillery shell.

"Not exactly Eagle, I was invited as well." Jess said while hitting Eagle with said shell.

"Also if you must know me and Sasha are the only respective CO's from our armies." Sonja said while looking for Andy.

"Sonja is…well correct, say where's Jake?" Sasha said and asked though somehow Jake appears right beside her…and not surprising her somehow.

"Sup' Sasha, sup' Jess happy Valentines Day to the both of you…and before you ask yes I've already given Rachel her gift.

"Oh Jake, Hello and Happy Valentines Day to you too." Sasha said while obviously greeting Jake.

"So Jake anything good you get us for Valentines day?" Jess asks while also greeting Jake.

"Yes I did, I got you some flowers…of course I did try to find you some fresh flowers and no store bought ones though I did buy some Dandelion seeds just in case you don't find those up to your flowery standards. Jake said as he handed Jess the things he mentioned to her.

"Well thanks Jake I'm sure I definitely will not mind these." Jess said while taking her gifts."

"And Sasha…" Jake said while we go over to Andy and Sonja.

"Andy what did you get me this Valentines Day? Hopefully not another wrench from your wrench collection." Sonja said while walking with Andy.

"Oh trust me Sonja I think you will be pleasantly surprised with what I got you." Andy said while he got to the room with Sonja's present, and now we do a quick skip to Max and Nell.

"Hey Nell I got you some chocolates when I was at the Orange Star Department Store today…though I had to deal with "fanboys" getting this chocolate though. Max said while handing Nell the chocolates.

"Max you really went to all that trouble just to get me chocolates I'm glad you did give me them." Nell said while placing the chocolates, right before a crashing sound was heard outside.

"He loves me the most!" An angry Rachel said before punching Jess.

"You don't even like tanks that much, how can you be the one he likes the most!" Jess said before getting punched by Sasha.

"Please, you didn't even have much story with Jake in order for him too love you!" Sasha said as the three got back into a proverbial catfight.

"Rachel, Jess, and Sasha please quit this catfight now!" Nell said with no success whatsoever.

"Nell good luck trying to stop them…I wonder where Sami and Eagle went?" Jake said as we go to the next room where Eagle and Sami are talking about something.

"Say Sami you're not in love Sonja are you?" Eagle said before getting slapped in the face.

"Eagle why do you keep thinking that? Sure, I like long hair, but that still doesn't mean…I flow that way.

"Ouch, ok, though, I see that there's a big fight in the other room." Eagle said as he noticed everyone gathered in the front room for said catfight mentioned earlier as Eagle and Sami head out to watch.

"Hey Eagle you as stunned as me on how this catfight started, oh and what's a catfight?" Andy said looking confused

"Andy, I can't believe how naïve you are…anyway a catfight happens when two or more chicks fight. Say Andy I bet you 12G that Jess wins this fight." Eagle said.

"Sure but what's a bet?" Andy said in the classic naïve tone of his.

"I'm not even going to try to explain this one." Eagle said as he sighed after his statement."

"Sami I've got something to tell you that's true and may stop the catfight all at once." Sonja said as she whispered to Sami.

"Okay, do it." Sami said while whispering back to Sonja.

"I would like to say that I love Sami and that she loves me all because my beautiful long hair!" When Sonja said that everyone stopped what they were doing…that includes the catfight, and even this fic.

(However I can say that after the statement made by Sonja, It turned out that Rachel, Jess, and Sasha forgave each other. Eagle, and Andy just decided to forget about their bet. Jake, Max and Nell just turned the other cheek. Even Sonja was happy with her new computer, and Sami was happy with her chocolates and acting with a sugar high those two had a lot of rumors to fight off.)

End Ch. 10


	11. Not So Max 300

Advance Wars Drabbles

Ch.11: Not So Max 300

By Hiro Konobu

"I know you're reading this so you could at least be nice and at least leave some reviews, besides this chapter wouldn't be here if you weren't reading it. I still own nothing by the way, and I don't own any DDR arcade games, also I only a certain computer modem that I will probably destroy with a baseball bat if I ever get a new one."

(We see Max and Nell walking and talking about something at Orange Star HQ)

"So I hear you spent some money on getting some actual video games for the Orange Star recreation room Orange Star haven't you, Nell?" Max said

"Yes I have, actually I was just lucky enough find 15 arcade machines on a roadside while driving a Megatank down the road to add to the recreation room…by the way one of them was DDR Extreme." Nell said

"…So Nell why would need a Megatank just to drive around…no offense I'd expect Sasha or Colin to drive around in one of them. Max said while thinking about why Nell would be just driving in a Megatank before he crashes into a wall trying to do so

Max I bet that's got to hurt doesn't it? Nell said looking a little obvious when she did

"Thank you miss captain obvious did you really need to comment on my mistake?" Max said while rubbing his head

"Why yes I did Max, big strong people really shouldn't try to think to hard." Nell said while trying to be blunt.

"Look let's just go inside the room and see what's going on." Max said as he and Nell entered the rec room.

"Note those new machines lying about? There the new arcade machines added to the bases rec room." Nell said pointing to each one.

"So I see you got a lot of them…oh wait I was being obvious…" Max said stopping himself before he could make anymore-wording errors.

"Yeah but our biggest draw right now is that DDR machine Andy and Sonja are playing right now." Nell says as the fic pans out to see Andy and Sonja playing Long Train Running on it…and since this site doesn't allow actual lyrics from the song…I'll skip to the end of it.

"So Sonja like our new video games in here?" Andy said while selecting another song on the machine.

"Yes but why did we have to get that bastardized version of DDR…what was it called, oh yeah it was Pump It Up." Sonja said while she let Andy their third song. (Note: While Max walked himself to a wall Andy and Sonja did their first song.)

"How do you feel about Spin The Disc Sonja?" Andy said as he asked Sonja if it was ok with her to do said song.

"Sure I'm fine with the song even if there's a two-in-one gag reference." Sonja said as we pan back to Max and Nell.

"Well I see that Andy and Sonja have played this game before…besides they're on Heavy." Max said

"You know we should go up there next and show what a DDR song is all about!" Nell said.

"Let me guess Catherine…it's going to be Sakura?" Max said before Nell hits him.

"Two things, one you will not call me by my possible European/Japanese name, and two were doing MAX 300 on Heavy." Nell said.

"Ok well good luck…" Max said while trying to get out of the general vicinity of Nell

"Oh no you're playing too even if you don't know how…" Nell said while grabbing Max to force him to play DDR with her and Nell selects the first song, which was surprisingly Burning The Floor after those lines mentioned much earlier, and again since I can't use real lyrics...we skip again to Andy and Sonja both who are sitting and drinking some water after their DDR.

"You know I never knew you were good at DDR Sonja." Andy said while taking a drink.

"Same goes for you Andy, I didn't know you could play that game so well.

"Yeah whenever I'm not acting stupid or working on various machines…I like to play DDR…and try to steal Nell's clothes for Sami." Andy said while Sonja was left somewhat speechless to what Andy said.

"Right…though can't say the same for Max's DDR skills I mean when compared to Nell he sucks…write that down." Sonja said after recovering from the shock of what Andy said while noticing Max and Nell playing DDR.

"See Max playing DDR is fun." Nell said somewhat sarcastically to Max.

"For you it is, DDR isn't grand to a guy of my stature." Max said to Nell.

"Look I'll let you choose the next song and after someone else can come up and play if you're feeling emo like most of the Green Earth army." Nell said while preparing for the next song.

"Ok then I'll pick this one" Max said not knowing he picked MAX 300.

"Max! You fool! You picked one of the hardest songs in the game…why did you do it." Nell said reacting to Max's folly.

"Well…uh…it had my name in it…" Max said trying to not mimic Andy in any way.

"Well you're screwed now…oh crap I forgot to take of the x3 mod." Nell said as she noticed that when the song started, now twenty seconds later a screen showed a failed and game over sign popped up.

"You know Andy I guess this proves that Nell isn't all that lucky in every aspect of her life." Sonja said.

"What's luck got to do with anything Sonja? I thought you said it didn't have anything to do with that an hour ago." Andy said to his friend.

"No I was actually referring to Max, look." Sonja said as we see Max getting chased out of the rec room by Nell, all because she thinks he gave her bad luck.

"Look I didn't give you any type of bad luck." Max says as he tries to avoid Nell.

"Oh I think you did! I normally can at least get an a on MAX 300 so you gave me bad luck." Nell said to Max while chasing him and throwing objects at him.

"What's luck got to…" Max said before he gets hit with an infantry helmet from Nell.

Nothing my dear Max nothing…I think what I have planned for you ruining my luck should fit the bill. Nell said when she caught up to Max.

(Well no physical record was told after this incident, though I hear that Nell, and Max went to a certain spring place…)

End Ch.11

"I think most people will get the spring joke…"


	12. Yellow Comet Inqusition

Advance Wars Drabbles

Ch.12: Yellow Comet Inquisition

By Hiro Konobu

"Yeah I think the title of this drabble chapter makes this one obvious to know what this is poking fun at…heck I even mentioned this in Ch. 4, I still only own my fanfics...and this edited version of the chapter...the numbers were there because of the fact that all of the chapters I've done are on the same file, I just forgot to take the bottom part out.

"Trouble at tank plant." Eagle said after running in.

"Oh no - what kind of trouble is that plant in?" Jess said in some type of worriment.

"One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treddle." Eagle said with a bad accent.

"Excuse me?" Jess says trying to understand Eagle.

"One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treddle. Eagle said again with that bad accent.

"I don't understand what you're saying so...I'll hit you with an artillery shell." Jess said as she hit Eagle upside the head with said artillery shell.

"One of the cross beams has gone out askew on the treadle." Eagle said angrily and with an exaggerated clear accent.

"Well what on Green Earth does that mean?" Jess said while being confused.

"I don't know – Mr. Drake just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the tank plant, that's all - I didn't expect some kind of a Yellow Comet Inquisition." Eagle said right before a jarring chord plays to reveal that the door flies open and Cardinal Kanbei of Yellow Comet enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Cardinal Kouzou has goggles pushed over his forehead. Cardinal Sensei is just Cardinal Sensei.

"NOBODY expects the Yellow Comet Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise...Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency...Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope...Our four...no...Amongst our weapons... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise... I'll come in again. Kanbei said as he exited the room.

"Ok…I didn't expect a kind of Yellow Comet Inquisition. Eagle said as the cardinals burst in during the jarring chord."

"NOBODY expects the Yellow Comet Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice yellow uniforms - Oh damn!" Kanbei said noticing his word flub. "I can't say it - you'll have to say it." As he said to Cardinal Kouzou

"What?" Kouzou said in response to Kanbei.

"You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are...' Kanbei said to Kouzou.

"I couldn't do that..." Kouzou said, as he was rather horrified.

As Kanbei bundles the cardinals outside again, Eagle gets very impatient with the Yellow Comet Inquisition.

"...I didn't expect a kind of Yellow Comet Inquisition." Eagle said again as another jarring chord is played as the cardinals enter…again.

"Er...Nobody...um..." Kouzou said as he stumbling through his lines.

"Expects..." Kanbei said to remind Kouzou.

"Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Yellow Comet...um..." Kouzou said as he was still stumbling through his lines.

"Inquisition." Kanbei said while getting irritated.

"I know, I know! Nobody expects the Yellow Comet Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect –" Kouzou said as he stumbling through his lines.

"Our chief weapons are..." Kanbei said getting more irritated.

"Our chief weapons are...um...er..." Kouzou said as he stumbling through his lines again.

"Surprise..." Kanbei said getting more irritated.

Surprise and -- Kouzou said as he stumbling through his lines one more time before Kanbei stops him.

"Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah...our chief weapons are surprise...etc. etc. etc. Sensei, read the charges." Kanbei said towards Sensei.

"You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit heresy against the Holy Church. 'My old man said follow the--' Sensei said as he got stopped by Kanbei.

"That's enough." 'As Kanbei said to Jess' "now, how do you plead?"

"We're innocent…still it makes me wonder why we hang out with you?" Jess said

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" (Note: during that laughing bit a sign that said 'DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER' was held up)

"We'll soon change your mind about that!" Kouzou said as he looked to be gesturing towards something. (Note: during that gesturing bit a sign that said 'DIABOLICAL ACTING' was held up.)

"Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless—" Kanbei said as he controls himself with a supreme effort. "Ooooh! Now, Sensei -- the rack!" Kanbei said.

(Kouzou produces a plastic-coated dish-drying rack. Kanbei looks at it and clenches his teeth in an effort not to lose control. He hums heavily to cover his anger)

"You...Right! Tie her down." Kanbei said as Sensei and Kouzou make a pathetic attempt to tie her on to the drying rack.

"Right! How do you plead Jess?" Kanbei said.

I'm innocent, Kanbei what's wrong with you…and why does this seem like a bad parody of something." Jess said as she defended herself.

"Ha! Right! Cardinal, give the rack (oh dear) give the rack a turn." Kanbei said.

(Kouzou stands there awkwardly and shrugs his shoulders)

"I..." Kouzou said at a loss of words.

"I know, I know you can't. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your big and crass mistake." Kanbei said while gritting his teeth beforehand.

"I..." Kouzou said still at a loss of words.

"It makes it all seem so stupid." Kanbei said.

"Shall I...?" Kouzou said finally finding some words to say.

"No, just pretend for Kami's sake. Ha! Ha! Ha!" Kanbei said.

(Kouzou turns an imaginary handle on the side of the dish-rack as this chapter goes to one last scene.)

"I Sonja of the Yellow Comet Army am not amused." After Sonja said this Javier appears and hits her with a rubber chicken.

End Ch: 12

"Oh yeah to those who didn't get this, it was referencing "Monty Python's" Spanish Inquisition bit…


	13. Kill Colin

Advance Wars Drabbles

By Hiro Konobu

Ch. 13: Kill Colin

"Like I said so many times before I don't own anything except my fanfics."

(We start off at Blue Moon where we see Sasha trying to beat a certain boss on a game she's playing on her DS.)

"Die Abbadon! You piece of trash! You're also a pork rind, stupid Abbadon. Sasha said while apparently getting very aggressive towards said game…though unaware to her knowledge Colin and Grit are peeking at Sasha through her door.

"S-so I hear that Sasha is playing Castlevania "Dawn of Sorrow" on her DS." Colin said with a stutter that only he could do.

"Ayup, and considering how she can get when dealing with stuff like this or when she's mighty pissed especially if she loses to a boss. Grit says while answering Colin's statement.

"Grit, how do you know it's a boss anyway?" Colin said as he asks Grit about knowing it was a boss Sasha was facing.

"I've played the game myself Colin, though if I ever meet the programmer who gave the Julius Mode SNK boss syndrome I'm going to kick them in the balls."

Grit said while still acting calm.

"W-w-well ok but do you think we should help her?" Colin said.

"No besides it's a one player game Colin. I think you've been hanging around "junior" too much. _Probably doing lets of "Brokeback" stuff as well._ Grit said as he hit Colin over the head with a paper fan.

"Ow! Who's "junior" anyway?" Colin said while rubbing his head.

"I'm referring to Andy, Colin. I just called him that during the great Cosmo Land war of 2001." Grit said as he tried to explain his wording.

"W-w-well I'm going to see if sis needs any help." Colin said as he heads off to try and help Sasha.

"Well you do that…wait!" Grit said as he tried to get Colin back in his sights though it was too late.

"Ok, I've only got one-hundred points left so I'll just got hit or miss with Yoko and just hit Abaddon with her ice attack. Sasha said sounding very stressed.

"Hey Sis! Need any help?" Colin says while surprising his sister enormously making her lose the game she was playing.

"Brother, I better hope you have a very good reason in five seconds for what you've just done?" Sasha said while twitching and getting angry all at the same time.

"No, I-I-I ju-s-s-st thought…" Colin said before his sister cuts him off.

"Your five seconds is up so zip it Colin. You know I've been trying to get through that boss for a little over a month now, and with your interruption I couldn't do what I needed to do so…" Sasha said as she took out a couple rolls of quarters and with intent to hurt Colin, if not kill him, though outside her room we see Grit anticipating the inevitable.

"Well I reckon that Colin is mighty screwed. I warned him not to go in there but did he listen nope." As soon as he said that he sees someone outside the window and hears a knock on the door he goes to answer it.

" Hello Grit, how are you today?" Max said, as he seemed to have a suitcase in his hand.

"Howdy Max, and regarding your last statement I'm fine, and what are you doing here shouldn't you be at Orange Star right now?" Grit said to Max.

"Not exactly I got leave from Orange Star for the weekend so I'd thought I would visit my good friend." Max said to Grit.

"You may have come at a bad time. " Grit said as he noticed some sounds coming from the back.

"What do you mean…" Max said as he noticed Colin running for his life while trying to avoid the deadly arm Sasha has whenever she throws quarters.

"Colin! Get back here, and meet your maker. You very broken CO!" Sasha said as she was continually throwing quarters at Colin and some of them hit their mark.

"S-s-sorry sis!" Colin said while getting pelted with quarters.

"I think I get what you mean." Max said as he and Grit stood in the room speechless. "Have you tried to stop things like this from happening Grit?" Max said as he tried to regain his composure.

"Not anymore, Colin and Sasha fight so much that me and the bearded one have given up." Grit said while shrugging.

End Ch. 13

"What I originally planned to do with this chapter was to do a double bashing chapter while poking fun at said game Sasha was playing earlier, but anyway just leave a review now please.


	14. Inventive Switches

Advance Wars Drabbles

By Hiro Konobu

Ch. 14: Inventive Switches

"I still don't own anything except my fanfics and semi writers block."

(At Black Hole HQ we see Lash working on something new…like she isn't.)

"This invention I'm working on shall possibly and probably be the greatest thing ever made for Black Hole's conquest if not a very comical plot device." Lash said as she continued tinkering on her device before she gets a knock on her door. "Now who could that be, and who would dare interrupt me and my invention?" Lash says as she opens the door to find Adder standing in front of her.

"Hello Lash, Hawke and Sturm wanted me to check on you and your invention that you're working on, also knowing you, Hawke and Sturm sent me to check on you." Adder said as he sighed to his last statement.

"That's okay, besides I needed a test subject for my newest invention anyway."

"What is your new invention, and who's the subject?" Adder said sheepishly.

"Well it's called the reverse gender ray, I think the name obviously explains itself, though I'd like to call this can the RGR for short." Lash said as she got a mischievous grin on her face. "And lucky you Adder you get to be the test subject." Lash said still with that grin on her face.

"Why do I have be the one to test out your weird gunnish looking object?" Adder said as he was trying to back away from Lash.

"Oh poo, don't be like that you might like what's in store with this gun when I blast you." Lash said as she was getting her RGR ready.

"Hey wait a minute I didn't really agree to test out your gun Lash…" Adder said while trying to stop her to no avail as that gun Lash had blasted him.

"Oh I think you just did agree to the experiment…"Addy", Tee, Hee, Hee!" Lash as she started to laugh at what happened to Adder.

"Lash why are you doing your trademark laugh…" Adder said as he noticed some new parts on his body, as well as tighter clothes, and his hair was slightly longer and no longer spiked…I'm going to leave it at that and return to the story. "Lash I'm so going to kill you!" As well "Addy" as well call him…er…her for the rest of the chapter at least.

(Meanwhile outside of Lash's Lab we see Sturm and Hawke walking to said place mentioned earlier.)

"So you just killed a guy with a meteor all because he called you Darth child molester Chef?

"Yes really I did kill him cause he called me that South Park Darth Vader parody, I mean it's not like I'm in the Super Adventure club…but if he just called me plain old Darth Vader I probably would have let him live…at least till next week." As Sturm said he sighs at the end of his sentence."

"You know Sturm I just don't get you sometimes…" After Hawke had said that line we hear a loud crashing sound in Lash's Lab. "Hey Sturm I just heard a loud crashing sound in Lash's Lab!" Hawke said.

"Thank you Captain OOC Obvious." Sturm said this very sarcastically as both he and Hawke run into the lab only to find Lash being chased around by a girl who looks like Adder and wearing his clothes too.

"Lash who is this Adder fangirl?" Hawke says while Sturm looks at him strangely.

"What do you know about fangirls Hawke?" Sturm said, as he was still confused at his statement.

"You'd be surprised especially on some of the forums I go to it gets very strange up there." Hawke said as shivered at his statement.

"You know I want some fangirls myself, sure I might be a snifit god, but what does it equal if you have no fangirls." Sturm said as he sighed again because of his lack of fangirls, and now back to Lash answering Hawke's question.

"Why yes, she is a fangirl her name is Addy." Lash said while still running from the female Adder.

"No it is not Addy you stupid little girl. That's because you blasted me with your gun that was called the Reverse Gender Ray, it kind of explains itself." Addy said as she was still chasing after Lash.

"It really does." Hawke said as he was still stunned by the antics of Adder and Lash.

"Damn and I thought that Lash had already did the weirdest thing last week when she made a nuclear powered toaster, though I guess it proves that Sonja of the Yellow Comet Army can't do anything innovative these days." Sturm said as we skip to Yellow Comet HQ where we see Sonja…just really doing nothing.

"Achoo! Could have sworn my name was just said." Sonja said as she had sneezed.

(Back at Black Hole where Sturm and Hawke are still watching "Addy" and Lash chase each other)

So Hawke do you want to continue watching Adder and Lash chase each other, or go to McHoles and grab some burgers? Sturm said while pondering to stay here or not.

"Maybe later, besides this story for some strange reason is about to pickup." Hawke said noticing Adder had caught Lash.

"Turn my gender back to normal now Lash!" Adder said very as he saw the gun and accidentally presses the obligatory red button that was labeled self-destruct when he pushed it a bright flash encompassed the two.

"Oopsies!" was all a male Lash could say as everyone else said "Oopsies? Oopsies with you cost lives!"

"Wait I don't think it did this time, all it cost was me and Adder switching genders…should be back to normal by days end.

"Damn it!" Was all Adder could say to end this chapter.

End Ch. 14

"Well I don't know if this is completely original or not, but if you enjoyed it then I've done my job...also anything referencedis also coincedental, andplease leave a review."


	15. Eagle's Fan Mail

Advance Wars Drabbles

Ch. 15: Eagle's Fan Mail

By Hiro Konobu

I'll admit that this chapter was inspired by the Eagle fans, but I still don't anything except my fanfics."

(We start by seeing Eagle about to talk to Javier)

"Hey Javier I got some mail and by the looks of how the mail looks of them they havetta be fanmail." Eagle said while somewhat hanging his head down.

"It makes me wonder if the author is just making a fanmail chapter all because he's ran out of ideas, hasn't he?" Javier said as he pondered the author's originality.

"He probably has ran out of fresh ideas to use, that's all I can say here." Eagle said with a sigh.

"Agreed, after you read those letters allow me to slap the author with extreme predjudice when this is done." Javier said.

"Regardless of what happens we should get started reading the fanmail." Eagle said as he opened the first letter. " Let's see it says." _Dear Eagle, I heard you and Jess had some full contact paintball action a while back, did you really do that? If so who won? P.S.: If it wasn't you why? From, Ken._ Eagle had read the letter to himself and was preparing a statement to respond to the letter. "Well let me put it euphimistically...Jess beat me by way of an anti air distraction, apparently it was due to the author's slight fanboyness towards Jess, I also heard Javier called Drake a fat porker." Eagle said with a slight grin.

"Well it's most honestly true I did call him a fat porker, and let's leave it at that, but still, you let Jess beat you?" Javier said while trying to hide his obvious fight with Drake in an earlier chapter.

"Javier at least I don't try to make fun of fat people." Eagle said as Drake had peered through the room.

"I'm not fat I'm big-boned." Drake said to both Eagle and Javier as he continued walking.

"Okay then now the next fan letter that was addressed to me reads, _Dear Eagle I hear you have a decent rival by the name of Andy, but what do you see in him that makes him a good rival? I'm just saying that, due to the fact he's such an idiot, alsowill you two have another battle against each other soon? From, William _"Let me say this William, he may not have much up there with asking questions like "what's a bet?" or "what's a delete clicker?" But when it comes to a battle he manages to bring out the best in me...naval units included, and regarding the battle we might have a battle next tuesday..." Eagle said in an excited mood.

"So does that mean on that Tuesday your going to be owned by Andy again?" Javier said as he tried to hide small laugh but horribly.

"Zip it Javier! I should say I'm going to own but I still have three more letters to read before I do that." Eagle said in an angry type of voice as he read the next letter addressed to him. _Dear Eagle, Let me make this a simple question by saying what do you see in Drake that makes him a good friend/partner? From Erika._ "To make this easy to be said we basically compliment each other in terms of our weaknesses, also what I mean by that is, since Drake is weak in air combat due to his fear of heights I complement him with the air strength while due to the fact I hate swimming, water, and ships He gives me back up in the naval department." Eagle said while picking up another piece of mail.

"Oh so it wouldn't have anything to do with the fact you almost drowned one time..." Javier said.

"Hey! That was a bad experience I had that I don't want to remember..." Eagle saidas he got ready to read his next piece of mail which read, _Dear Eagle, Do you really like Sami, and not in the way mentioned in chapter 10 of this fic, and in the three Advance Wars games, even if they left a gaping plothole in your relationship? From Alexa _...I...well...she's cute...er...I mean...she's nice...we hangout sometimes..." Eagle said obviously blushing.

"Oh come on my fellow Green Earth CO everyone knows you love Sami." Javier said with an emphasis on love.

"Can it Javier it may not be true some people have me paired up with that tank driving, artilery shell throwing, tomboy maniac..." As Eagle had said that a stray artilery shell had hit Eagle.

"I'm not a tomboy maniac...just a tomboy, flyboy." Jess said as she passed through after throwing the shell at Eagle.

"Thou think you got served in a sense Eagle." Javier said as he looked at Eagle.

"Where did you learn the bad lingo...forget I need to read my last bit of fanmail" _Hay Eagle you SUXXORZ! Jess's units are better than yours because they can resupply. Oh yeah Edmonton rules! From Jack in Edmonton. _As Eagle reads this letter he gets very angry.

"I'll be right back Javier..." Eagle said obviously hinting towards his anger.

"Take your most glorious time." Javier said as he picked up a nicely placed newspaper out of nowhere.

(A little time later at Black Hole HQ)

"So Hawke was that letter really necesary?" Lash said to an idle Hawke.

"Why yes it was, because I get to kill two birds with one stone, first I get to mess with eagle, and I get revenge on Edmonton for beating my favorite hockey team." Hawke said as he seemed to be enjoying what he just did immensely.

(Two out-of-ammo bombers later)

"So you're back quick Eagle, so what now?" Javier said as he obviously knew where he went.

"Let's end here by saying that this work is pure satire and not to be taken seriously." Eagle said as the chapter ends.

End Ch. 15

"Let's just say Eagle fans and a ruined sports history chance inspired this chapter, and due to a recent sys. restore it seems I can't use word no more."


	16. Not So Maxx Unlimited

Advance Wars Drabbles

Ch. 16: Not So Maxx Unlimited

By Hiro Konobu

"This chapter serves as an follow up of Ch. 11: Not So Max 300, also I'm also considering on doing another one of them later on, and if it gets too technical I apoligize in advance, also I still don't own anything."

(Okay we head back to Orange Star's rec center where we see Max and Nell talking about last time)

"Max, when we get in there please, for the love of mike do not choose Max 300 as the first or second song." Nell said trying to act smart.

"Why not? I thought it was cool to have a song that had your name in it." Max said acting a little smug about it.

"Not when it's one of the hardest song sets in Dance Dance Revolution, aside from the Paranoia's..." Nell said angrliy. (A/N: To those who don't actively play the game Nell just mentioned the songs there are very hard, trust me, as someone who's plays DDR often I should know.)

"So what I was just having a little fun with those songs anyway it really didn't hurt anyone, well except for a bad joke." Max said.

"Just be fortunate that I caught you before we got to China." Nell said still in a somewhat bad mood.

"What does that have to do with the fic?" Max said somewhat confused.

"I don't know it was just a punchline to end ch. 11. Now let's go play some DDR as this fic isn't going anywhere besides this joke talk."

(Now as Nell and Max walk towards the DDR machine and were about to get on it Sami and Eagle pop up and get on the machine first)

"Hey we were here first why did you get ahead of us? You know I could put you KP duty for a year!" Nell said very mad like.

"The coin line it's as simple as that, though not as simple as the author making a plothole to why were even here in the first place." Eagle said to Nell in a somewhat smug fashion.

"Not entirely Eagle, it was because you wanted to treat me to something after that Valentine's day incident." Sami said.

"Well can you please give me praise about my superior skills and luckiness?" Nell said.

"Nope, when I'm not on the clock I don't kiss up to you like I usually do." Sami said in a very blunt way.

"Why you..." Nell said as Sami and Eagle got ready to play DDR.

"Chill out Nell...maybe you hire could someone to kiss up to you when Sami's off the clock." Max said trying to make Nell feel better.

"You're right, but Andy's to stupid to do that, so I'll do that later. Nell said as Sami and Eagle had picked their first song which was Burning Heat, and since that song has no vocals, that and they did fairly well scoring B's we skip to their next song which was Trip Machine Survivor, which was pretty much the same thing in terms of grades, and lyrics...anyway their last song was Sakura, however we focus on after the song was done...it's hard to simulate someone playing DDR.

"Man that was a hard song wouldn't you say so Sami?" A tired Eagle said after He and Sami got a D on Sakura.

"Yeah, but at least we passed unlike some people who make the mistake of putiing mods higher than x1.5 on their Max 300." Sami said also tired.

"Hey that was due to the gung-ho gorrillas' Andy-like behavior. When he picked Max 300 due to a bit of anger I wasn't able to change it." Nell said somewhat upsetting Max.

"You know I really don't like that name, also I noted that umbrellas just make me look stupid, one way or another." Max said as he made everyone else sweatdrop.

"Regardless of Max's statement, we'll show you how to play on DDR, besides I'm too lucky for anything bad to happen to me again...ow!" Nell said as she tripped over the wires that connect the game to it.

"Nell are you ok, because I think that fall might be telling us something along the lines of not playing this game again." Max said in a slightly suprising tone of voice.

"Oh great, are you a "phliozphizer" now?" Nell said acting sarcastically towards Max.

"Ouch was that really necesary?" Max said inserting three quarters into the machine.

"Why yes it was...at least for the plot advancing, that and the fact you're not picking the first song like last time, when Andy and Sonja was here." Nell said now inserting her quarters into the machine.

"So what now?" Max said confused about what just happened during that talk.

"We need to pick a song...I'll chose random from the list and I won't hold down that button as well." Nell said as the random turned out to be Cuite Chaser...I guess this also shows that Nell's luck doesn't apply everywhere as she nearly failed the song, as well.

"Wow I never seen anyone do that badly on that song...I'm kinda speechless right now on how horrible that was, anything you want to add to it Eagle?"

"No I'm good, but thanks for asking Sami." Eagle said taking a drink of water.

"Why you I half a mind to demote you back to a grey rat if not a private, for that...remark." As Nell said that Max had already selected a song, apparently Nell seems to know what it is."...Okay, why did you pick Maxx Unlimited?" Nell said getting progressively angrier with each passing second.

"...Well to be unoriginal...it had my name in it." Max said obviously hinting that he kinda sounded Andy with that line.

"Well at there wasn't any mods to it..." Nell said.

(Twelve seconds into the song later, we see that Nell is chasing Sami for insulting her inablity to pass the song Max picked)

"Get back you stupid little kitsune! I knew you insulted me even with the author skipping my failing of Maxx Unlimited." Nell said angrily again.

"So what as long as I'm off the clock I can act anyway I want to towards besides I can't kiss up to you all the time. Oh yeah please leave a review for "Advance Mew Mew" please? It the only way to understand Nell's insult if you read it." Sami said still running away.

"Well how do like that for a lame ending for this chapter?" Eagle said.

"I think the author just gets tired after working on a fic for too long...and leave a review for the author's newest fic "Advance Mew Mew". Max said.

End Ch.16

"You know a little known fact about my writing is that the first fanfic I ever did was DDR related...(It's in the process of being rewritten) anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, sorry for the blatant ad at the end.


	17. Mark Henry Assassination Plot

Advance Wars Drabbles

Ch. 17: Mark Henry Assassination Plot

By Hiro Konobu

"Now this chapter in the drabbles kinda focus more on a bashing centric flavor towards a certain wrestler...if you don't want to read this somewhat wrestling referenced chapter then wait for the next one, like always I only own my fanfics, also noted while this is some type of writing rage I had to get out...so bear with me."

(One day at the Yellow Comet Base we see Grimm, Sensei and Kanbei watching an episode of Smackdown...after "The World's Worst Wrestler." does...his usual talentless beat-em up charade.)

"That damn Mark Henry, always gets on my nerves I really wany someone to fire him!" A very angry Grimm said.

"You know they won't fire because one he's the "worlds worst wrestler" that's why, he needs to do that because vince needs his customary chubby for talentless wrestlers." Kanbei said

"Cool down, my friend you're acting like Flak...if he had vegtables." Sensei said trying to cool his friend down.

"Say where's where my daughter at? I should tell her that me and Grimm are going to kill that Mark Henry...that and we need a plan to do so and knowing Sonja..." Kanbei said as he noticed Sonja.

"Father are you acting like your AW1 counterpart again, and by that I mean getting angry over something that is completely useless, and also fake." Sonja said shaking her head.

"Don't act like that to me daughter, and also I know you like wrestling so don't try to act non-fangirlish on me and your love of the wrestler Paul London." Kanbei said trying to do something blackmailing to Sonja.

"What do you mean I said I didn't like wrestling, and who is this Paul London you speak of?" Sonja said doing a bad job of hiding her love of wrestling, and seeming to be holding something behind her back.

"Hey Sonja what are you hiding behind your back?" Kanbei manages to trick Sonja and grabs a poster of the aforementioned wrestler. "Oh great my only daughter is truly a mark..." Kanbei said shaking his head.

"Excuse me for acting a bit like Andy but, what's a mark?" Sensei said obviously confused.

"If you don't mind Kanbei I'd like to take this question, see a mark is what you get if you like one single wrestler, though a certain site the author goes on would explain what I mean better." Grimm said taking Kanbei's Question.

"Right, though I still wished that Chris Benoit gave that dick Mark Henry another injury...like he did a few years back." Kanbei said acting unlike his samurai-like self, shocking the room too.

"Father...are you ok?" Sonja asked her father.

"Sorry momentary lapse, me and Grimm hate Mark Henry, so I kinda acted unhonorable." Kanbei said.

"Ok...knew Paul London should have followed A. J. Styles' advice, he got underused and had to job to horrible wrestlers." Sonja said, as they all went into a planning room for the assasaination plot.

"So anyone here have a gun?" Grimm said, as everyone pulled out a gun including Grimm.

"Hey I'm Yellow Comet's Emperor so I should say the next part of the plan which is to convict Mark Henry of rape...now that ones going to be hard...so I just got some one to help us out here." Kanbei said slightly interrupting Grimm

"By thw way who did you get to help us father, and how much money did it cost?" Sonja said asking her father

"Uhh...I gave her $2.5 million gold, a sock of mine, and one of my katana's." Kanbei said.

"Can we just get on to killing Mark Henry right now, or would this chapter be involved as a no-plot zone." Sensei said yawning.

"...Sensei stop reading those comics, but regardless of that we should move on...to the T Copter." Kanbei said as everyone got into the T Copter."

"So here's the plan, Sonja will do recon work on Mark Henry's progress, Sensei and Grimm will lure Mark Henry out, and the assassin I hired will shoot him with a sniper rifle." Kanbei said as the neared their destination.

"Excuse me father, but will you be doing?" Sonja asked yet again something to her father.

"Well...I going to be playing Kingdom Hearts 2 why because me and the author have an RPG curse, it means we can't finish an RPG game." Kanbei said as they reached the destination, and everyone has moved out.

"So father did you have a ridiculously bad name to go with this plot?" Sonja said...yet again asking her father.

"Yes it's called Plan 9...and I'm not in direct violation in reference code either." Kanbei said trying to cover up his levelreference to an old game as he noticed Grimm and Sensei already lured out Mark Henry very quick.

"...Damn, no wonder why they call you Lightning Grimm, sure you may be fat, but you're fast." Sensei said while running from a pissed off Mark Henry.

"Not only that but I think the ladies can contribute to that nickname to..." Grimm said making Sensei sweatdrop.

"Say Grimm what did you say to piss Mark Henry off anyway?" Sensei said wondering.

"Well first I called him a true mama's boy, secondly I said that Shelton Benjamin can beat him six ways to Sunday when it comes to video games, and finally I gave him the ultimate insult that a wrestler hates to hear." Grimm said.

"What was that Grimm?" Sensei said.

"I said you suck at wrestling." Grimm said

"Wow...that's very true." Sensei said.

"No it's not, I'm a great wrestler." Mary Henry said whining chasing the both laughing Sensei and Grimm outside the building where he got shot in the head by the assassin.

"Well now since that's done, assassin could you please remove the stuff that was covering you Ivy Marissa Viper." Kanbei said.

"Father! You hired her that girl from The One True Koneko's fanfic!" A shocked Sonja said.

"What the author did ask permission to use her even if it was only for a bit role." Kanbei said.

"Okay...this chapter, was horrible, and don't call me by my full name Kanbei." Viper said.

End Ch. 17

"I'll have references up later, but yeah had to get out a bashing chappie eventually, and thanks to The One True Koneko for letting me use her character."


	18. Backdraft Rhythm Remixed

Advance Wars Drabbles

By Hiro Konobu

Ch.18: Backdraft Rhythm Remixed

"Yeah I thought I try something completely...remixed enjoy, and still only own my fanfics."

(We see Jake just listening to his music at Orange Star headquarters)

"Ahh nothing like some great "Block Rockin' Beats" to get myself pumped up and in a good mood, especially after some hard students who keep ragging on your rap styles, though I have this odd feeling that something weird is going to happen later.

(A couple minutes later two Orange Star soldiers are behind his back talking…let's just call them Mike and Carlos for this entire fic)

"You know I heard rumors that whenever Jake doesn't his headphones he goes crazy." Mike said to his friend.

"How do you know that?" Carlos said.

Well there was this one time where he went on a recon gang like paintball shooting frenzy when he couldn't find them one time." Mike said.

"Was there any proof to this?" Carlos said confused towards Mike.

"Do you remember the "Orange Star Paint Massacre" of 2005?" Mike said.

"No I don't know. What does it have to do with Jake headphones anyway?" Carlos said still confused.

"Nothing, I was the one driving the recon so I just thought I'd bring it up. Mike said.

"...Right, well I might leave you to your devices under the suspicion that you're insane." Carlos said bluntly.

"Thank you, because that's what I was going for with that bit." Mike said as he laughed with a hint of insanity in his voice.

"I don't know why I still hang out with you." Carlos said as he sighed.

"I also heard that Jake also manages to draw crude pictures of the other CO's...mainly Kindle." Carlos said back to his buddy.

(At Black Hole HQ a sneeze could be heard)

"Achoo! I wonder if the rabble was talking about me?" Kindle said after she sneezed.

"Kindle are you ok?" Koal said who was next to her.

"Yes I am though I think this joke is horrible." Kindle said shaking her head.

(Back at Orange Star HQ)

"I think that would be obvious to why no one likes her you know with her being stuck up and all." Mike said to Carlos.

"That's true, you think that Jake wouldn't be able to live without his headphones?" Carlos said back to Mike.

"Probably not but let's see what happens when we say that his headphones suck." Mike said to Carlos while looking over Jake.

"Hey Jake your headphones and music suck!" Carlos said loudly towards Jake, as he doesn't listen to his words due to the headphones he has on right now.

"Maybe this should work…" Mike had grabbed some scissors out of thin air and cut Jake's headphones only to find out that Jake's music was still playing somehow.

"How can this be he isn't getting angry at us…maybe we should ask him why." Carlos says.

"Say Jake how can you still be listening to music when your headphone wire has been cut?" Mike says to Jake, only to find Jake has stopped moving completely.

"...I wonder if his music was the key to his lifeforce?" Carlos said.

"Not exactly...he's a...robot!" Mike said noticing some metal clanging while Carlos was talking.

"Oh really?" Carlos said very sarcastically, heading over to Jake.

"Well does this explain what happened with what I said?" Mike said.

"Indeed it did, but one question still bugs me...how was Jake able to go on a paintball frenzy if his headphones were stolen since they were his energy source?" Carlos said to Mike.

"Beats me that something the author should explain, besides I'm going to see what he was listening to." Mike said as he put on the headphones, and started to dance while, Carlos just left the room confused, and muttering something about joining Blue Moon.

End Ch.18

"This is a redone and somewhat extended version of the first chapter of this collection, hope you enjoyed it...I also have a PSA to say as well...never knew Ranma 1/2 fanfic writers/reviewers were so judgmental, anyway this is a PSA about reviewing.

"Who the hell reviews like this anyway, Jess come here quick." Eagle said as he noticed a tasteless review from a person known as Darklion which read: "Just because it's a one shot, doesn't mean it has to be total and complete crap. Hell, most spamfics I've read are done better than this. It's disjointed, totally random and completely unfunny. Do the world a favor and stop writing.".

"Wow, that is a very tasteless review...lets beat him up for his stupidity." Jess said, as Drake entered the room with a statement.

"Now what happened here was that an insulting review was given, its very demeaning, make a person quit writing fanfiction altogether, and it's also even worse than the random review that props a fanfic, and also the author's fanfics usually get criminally ignored, also it's a contributing factor to why fanfics can be discontinued, now if you can rectify the situation by one leaving constructive reviews to the author, and two by sending reviews to the "Under Reviewed Fanfics Group" Thank you." Drake said as the chapter truly ends.


	19. The Bet

Advance Wars Drabbles  
Ch. 19: The Bet  
By Hiro Konobu

"Like always I still only own my fanfics." 

(One day at Black Hole)

"So Hawke do you think I'm really that vain?" Adder said asking Hawke

"Yes but your type of being vain can be tolerated, unlike Kindle's." Hawke said in his usual stoic tone.

"I wonder, how come...but I really can't say I should insult Kindle, but that would get people angry at me and the author." Adder said as Hawke nodded.

"I don't know, but with the author's jokes regarding his dislike of Kindle I think he might...also for using the author joke one too many times. Hawke said.

"That's true so how does Von Bolt's chair feel?" Adder said.

"Let's just say it feels good and we shall leave it at that." Hawke said while passing Kindle and Koal.

"So the rubbish is still here isn't it? I thought that you were at Orange Star getting questioned." Kindle said.

"You'd do best to answer at this point Hawke." Koal said.

"No I was being questioned, but the author had too many chapters already with them involved in each chapter of this fic so I was let go." Hawke said.

"Oh I see well...uh...Koal praise me on my vanity." Kindle said at a somewhat loss for words.

"Wow she is vain..." Adder said right before Kindle noticed his statement.

"I'm not vain, I'm just an upper-crust CO who just likes to get praise...a lot." Kindle said as she started to laugh.

"You know I don't think you'd be laughing if that hair of yours was shaved off!" Adder said very angrily arguing with Kindle, in the meantime we see both Hawke and Koal talking.

"So Koal you're telling me the only reason you're with Kindle is because it was the only way for you to become a CO." Hawke said.

"Yep, it was either that or be used for an experimental CO project...they were trying to make a mutant type CO...the stupid Bolt Guard scientists haven't made a successful one yet." Koal said shaking his head."

"...That sounds like a lot of failed experiments doesn't it?" Hawke said.

"Not exactly the scientists had Injectors, a la "Timesplitters: Future Perfect," although we don't have a good dental, I'll also be around the Bolt Guard for one year this September, and we don't have corny catchy catchphrases." Koal said

"Well I see that the Adder/Kindle argument is about to end so I guess its time to split for you isn't it?" Hawke said noticing the battle of the vanity was almost done.

"Yes it is, and also is a hint to get back into character as well, you should do the same." Koal said as he got back to where Kindle was.

"So it's agreed we settle this on Saturday with a one-shot pole vaulting contest, and whoever loses gets their head shaved bald." Adder said still angry.

"That's a deal you soon to be baldy." Kindle said also angry. "Koal do have the anything to say to the rubbish before we leave and win this bet?" Kindle said turning to Koal.

"No I'm good, besides I am warrior and scholar so I can say that our victory is all but certain." Koal said as he and Kindle left laughing.

"So Adder what did she challenge you too?" Hawke said.

"...Pole vaulting..." Adder said dryly.

(We skip to a gymnasium inside of Black Hole)

"So why am I here again?" Adder said decked in some type of athletic clothing.

"To practice pole vaulting, besides do you want your hair to be shaven off?" Hawke said clad in athletic clothing too.

"No I don't so where's my pole at?" Adder said looking for it.

"Right here!" Lash said surprising Adder.

"Lash, what in Sturm's name are you doing here?" Adder said still surprised.

"Well Hawke needed help with training so I brought a modified pole with me." Lash said

"Why do I need that?" Adder said as he took said pole from Lash.

"Trust me on this if you snuck up on Kindle's training towards her pole vaulting you'll need it." Lash said as Adder started to do his pole vaulting.

"Well let's see what this thing can do." Adder said only to get stopped mid-air by not releasing the pole for a very comical fall.

"Ouch...this might be a long day..." Hawke said sighing

"Cue the montage!" Lash said.

(A typical montage bit starts, it shows Adder doing all sorts of training and mishaps for them, though we have to skip to the day of the challenge as far as montages go.)

"Hello and welcome to this plot hole ridden bet challenge, I'm your first announcer Lash and my partner here for this is Jugger." Lash said in the same gymnasium mentioned earlier

"Kindle's intent...smacklaying in a downward direction...and hello...meatbags." Jugger said acting biased.

"Ok, now lets get on with this match. It's going to be a loser gets hair shaved off pole vault off shall we?" Lash said as Hawke and Adder came out.

"Pole vaulting...most interesting...Kindle will win." Jugger said still being biased as she came out next with Koal.

"Now we see Adder about to go up first." Lash said.

"Jugger predicts...Adder will fall...very painfully...Kindle will win." Jugger said.

"Stupid biased robot..." Lash said as Adder jumped over a pole vaulting bar successful at 9' 8".

"Damn...I wanted puny meat bag to fall...surely Kindle will win with something higher than 9' 8"" Jugger said.

"...This biasing thing has gone on long enough." Lash said as she took out a EMP gun out of nowhere and shot Jugger with it, thus making him unable to say anything for the rest of the fic.

"So Kindle are you really sure you want to do this?" Koal said.

"Yes anything to see Adder bald." Kindle said as she got ready for her jump.

(As she jumps not only does she hit the bar but the pole hits her in the head knocking her out)

"Ow...it seems Kindle got hit hard by the pole and also she hit the bar too...hey look Adder is up by her with a shaver I wonder what he's going to do?" Lash said.

(One scene/day later.)

"So you ended up shaving Kindle's hair while she was unconscious, that was cold." Hawke said.

"I know the beauty of it was that she was still that way when I was done with the shaving." Adder said.

"You know I can't wait to see the look on Kindle's face when she wakes up. Tee Hee!" Lash said.

(Back to Kindle, Koal, and a still EMP knocked out Jugger.)

"So what happened?" Kindle said just waking up.

"Well you got...owned, also you were knocked out as well from the pole." Koal said

"I see, but why do I feel a strange draft over my head." Kindle said as Koal handed her a mirror and she found out she was bald...leaving a very confused Koal to think for a bit.

Maybe I should see if Yellow Comet is still hiring. Koal thought as this fic ends.

End Ch. 19

"Now if this feels bland I'll try to have a better chapter out next time, but this idea just came to me."


	20. Messing With 4Kids

Advance Wars Drabbles  
By Hiro Konobu  
Ch. 20: Messing With 4Kids

"...Yeah I had to do a chapter like this, besides what self respecting gaming, and anime/manga author can't resist a 4Kids bashing chapter...or fic, and I still only own my fanfics...that and this chapter is work of pure satire."

(One day at Blue Moon...we see Sasha and Colin watching TV)

"...The acting it's making me very, very...upset." Sasha said.

"I k-know sis, I think my e-ears are bleeding." Colin said, as you can tell...there watching something 4Kids dubbed.

"That and it's worse than something that Uwe Boll would do for game-related movies." Olaf said

"No...I think for 4Kids is worse in this scenario cause Uwe Boll only makes horrible game related movies, but 4Kids rapes anime, right brother." Sasha said motioning to her brother.

"Yeah 4Kids rapes stuff like Shaman King and One Piece for example." Colin said.

"How about Ojamajo Doremi for instance?" Sasha said before Olaf makes a point of his own.

"Or even Tokyo Mew Mew?" Olaf said leaving Colin and Sasha speechless. "What? Can't Blue Moon's leader watch cutesy Mahou Shoujo anime?" Olaf said.

"Umm...no, we just wouldn't watch/read that sort of anime sir." Colin said, still kind of shocked at the statement Olaf made.

"Believe it! Besides...the author likes that anime as well." Olaf said while making another obvious two in one reference.

"So what now?" A confused Colin said.

"Say Olaf what do you say to a trip over to 4kids and beat up the guy who's responsible for raping anime, and saying children can't read." Sasha said.

"Yes of course...just need to leave a note to Grit for where we will be." Olaf said writing a note.

(A few hours later Grit comes into the same room)

"Hmm...I wonder everybody is at? Wait what this?" Grit said as he picked up a letter that said: Grit, I, Sasha, and Colin have gone to destroy the evil that is 4kids, and possibly blackmail them with an old kid game show they did back in the early 90's. By the way the last slice of pizza in the fridge is mine. "Well I guess it's too late for the pizza." Grit said as chomped down the slice of pizza.

(Meanwhile at the 4kids headquarters...)

"Sir we have acquired Microsoft's gaming division...well for making horrible video games as well." A random guy said to a cloaked figure.

"Excellent..." The cloaked figure said in a "Monty Burns" style of voice.

"So anything else Mr. Khan?" The random guy said.

"Except for not calling me by my name, nothing further." Khan said.

"Yes, sir. If you don't mind me asking why...how come were branching into video games" The random guy said leaving the area.

"Now that I have raped and screwed over many forms of anime, I thought why rape and screw over the video game world as well." Khan said.

"So...if you need me I'll be on break." the random guy said

"Ok, just remember to close the door on the way out. Khan said as he started to laugh. "Now phase 2 of my plan to ruin popular media has begin, and that being to destroy video games. "MMP Team' ...oww!" Apparently said team fell on him as he was saying.

"MMP Team ready for duty sir." One of the team members said.

"That's good but could you get off me." Khan said.

(Ok...now to keep said anonymous for now we skip back to Olaf, Sasha, and Colin riding in an APC discussing their plan of attack...and yes lots of infantry and mechs are behind them, in various vehicles.)

"So what's your big plan O-Olaf?" Colin said.

"Yeah I want to know, so that my brother can stop stuttering." Sasha said while getting a somewhat glaring look at by Colin.

"Well my plan is this." Olaf said as he pulled out a screen from out of nowhere along with a slide projector.

"So your big plan is that?" Colin said shocked and confused.

"No it isn't I was getting to the plan..." Olaf said as Colin interrupted him again.

"B-but how are we going to defeat 4kids with just a..." Colin said as his sister interrupted him.

"Zip it Colin before I have you put on KP duty for a year!" Sasha said.

"Eep...ok sis." Colin said in a very scared tone.

"Alright...now my plan is this, you Colin will have a team of infantry to help you get there money supplies. Olaf said while pointing out a crudely drawn pictures of said operation

"Why should I get the money." Colin asks.

"Well I know that you can become a ridiculously broken CO when you have lots of money, so that's why."

"Yes and you can't send me to the "Prison of Brokenness" for this either."

"Nope, Colin that's actually your 3:45 tomorrow." Sasha said as she interjected into the conversation, as Olaf started to continue.

"As for you Sasha you shall destroy the 4kids recording/editing areas with the mechs that have Homing Launchers with them...as well as their normal bazookas. Olaf said.

"What about you Olaf?" Sasha said

"As for me...I'm taking out the head honcho of this evil corp..." Olaf said.

"...Alfred Khan." Olaf, Sasha, and Colin said in unison."

"Exactly." Olaf said as he felt something weird in the APC, and knew what it was. "...There are ' snakes in the ' APC!" Olaf said as he Sasha and Colin went out of the APC...also noted they were at the 4kids office.

"You know that quote is supposed to be "There are ' snakes in the ' plane!" Then again I'm not Eagle. Colin said as he and the others got ready to there missions.

(At Green Earth we could hear someone sneezing)

"Achoo!"

"Eagle are you ok?" Drake said.

"I'm fine I swore I could have heard someone say that quote wrong as well as my name." Eagle said

"What quote is that?" Drake asked.

"There are ' snakes in the ' plane!" that quote." Eagle said.

(Back to the siege of 4kids where Colin is busily trying to steal as much money as he can from the vaults.)

"So this is all they have it's not even enough to take over Yellow Comet." Colin said as he slung a huge sack of money on his back.

"Halt right there!" Some people said blocking the doorway.

"So let me guess some generic guards are going to stop me fat chance that'll happen." Colin said pissing off the guards.

"What...were not generic..." The guards said.

"Yes you are!" Colin said

"No were not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No were not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No were not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No were not!"

(This bit went on for a few more minutes till Colin had enough of that)

"Enough...infantry attack with the...Power Of Money!"

"What? Agh!" Countless generic guards get taken out due to Colin's broken super CO Power.

"Ah ha ha! Chickens, fight like..." Colin was about to say before he gets knocked out by surprise by no one in particular.

"Boss we've captured one of the people trying to steal our anime raping funds." The person who knocked out Colin said.

"Perfect...Elliot, anyway how's block B?" Khan said.

"I don't know, I'll check." Elliot said. "Zoey how's everything going?" An explosion is heard in the background, as Elliot had decided to check up on Zoey.

"Well what do you think Elliot!" Zoey said angrily, also trying to fend off earlier said Mechs destroying the recording/editing part of 4Kids. "Generic guards hold this area for as long as you can I have a plan." Zoey sneaks off as the generic soldiers try to hold their own against the Homing launcher equipped soldiers but doing badly with it.

"So this is all they have to send at us, man the Khan guy has poor defenses." Sasha said

"Lady Sasha we have destroyed said studio as well as found a Flux book." One of the mech soldiers said towards Sasha.

"So are they trying to ruin Fire emblem as well?" Sasha said as the mechs turned away as Sasha gets surprised by Zoey...who somehow has napkin full of stuff that knocks a person out...heck I with it I didn't know it's name.

"As for ruining Fire Emblem, no way we will do that, it has too many fan peeps."

(Meanwhile, about 12 minutes later we see Olaf confronting Khan)

"What brings you here to my corporation." Khan said obviously with his back turned...till otherwise said.

"Oh nothing in particular, possibly even for a simple little business deal." Olaf said.

"Oh, interesting tell me the deal." Khan said

"Well my company is willing to pay you one million a year under the condition that you don't try to mess with anime or video games...in terms of screwing them over. Olaf said also thinking that screw line had been used to much.

"What do you mean? I provide perfect storylines, and ideas for any anime I pickup, However I don't get the fact that people are actually against my style of storytelling." Khan said.

"Mr. Khan, you must be full of yourself, I've heard you've been raping anime, and saying that kids can't read." Olaf said laughing.

"Those allegations are completely false!" Khan said as he turned around and slammed his desk.

"Objection! It says here in this article you blatantly said kids can't read!" Olaf said getting angry...and possibly getting sued by Phoenix Wright.

"...Well what now?" Khan said.

"Well come along peacefully, and no one will get hurt." Olaf said pulling out a K-SMG.

"I'm thinking otherwise..." Khan snaps his fingers and Elliot and Zoey bring out a tied up Sasha and Colin also knocked out at the time too.

"WTF! What are you going to do them?" Olaf said suddenly surprised.

"Well if you don't give up immediately, I'll shoot your colleagues with this." Khan said as he revealed a gun that looked exactly like the 4kids-ifier from that Domination: New Legion fanfic

"What can that peashooter thing do?" Olaf said jokingly.

"Well..." Khan shoots a random girl on the street below with said gun, all of a sudden she starts to become boy crazy and all that 4kids style.

"Damn I've got no choice...before I give up, why do you only have two members of TMM helping you?" Olaf asked.

"Why do you ask?" Khan said

"Well I wanted to know this whole fic why we didn't see them all?" Olaf said

"...4kids has been losing money and...we could only get two brainwashed." Khan said.

"Oh now that's reassuring." Olaf said.

"Oh how so it is!" Khan begins to laugh with said gun in his hand till it gets shot off by a random bullet destroying it. "What the..." Then he gets shot in the stomach with a tranquilizer dart, in the foreground we see Grit somehow in the building.

"Super Snipe Fool!" Grit said as he moved up to where his friends...also untied, and the de-brainwashed two were all talking.

"So let me get this straight the reason you two got brainwashed was all because you got tricked towards going to a restaurant?" Sasha said.

"Yep, Ryou and I thought it was a restaurant but however that Khan came out and shot us with that 4kids-ifier gun." Ichigo said.

"W-Well that explains why you were actually helping that guy." Colin said.

"Hey Grit what are you doing here anyway?" Olaf said

"I reckon that like most people hate 4Kids more than a bucket O Bearded One."

"...A bucket..." A confused Ryou said.

"Don't worry he does this a lot...anyway what are we going to do with this body." Olaf said.

"I have an idea." Sasha said with a grin.

(The next day a paper said "Missing 4Kids Exec: Whereabouts Unknown." also noted they dropped his body off a waterfall, it should be noted that no one actually knows...also Olaf found out about the missing pizza slice...I'll leave it at that.)

End Ch. 20

"...Well I thought it was a good idea at the time..."


	21. Supernova Machine Stealing Plot

Advance Wars Drabbles

By Hiro Konobu

Ch.21: Supernova Machine Stealing Plot

"Yet another DDR involved chapter but wait this doesn't have implied Max/Nell, as well as the fact I still don't own anything except my fanfics, also noted with school starting fic updates will possibly come less."

(Yet another day starts at Orange Star as we se Nell waking up thinking about something)

Evil Max...I starting to think that he's trying to make mess up on purpose why else did he choose those "Maxx" songs in the first place. Skips to some non mentioned scenes mentioned back in chapters 11 and 16. "Also on the subject of that why have the chapter listings for the DDR been uneven, but that's another story." Nell said as she woke up and got ready for the day.

(We skip to the ever loveable Mike and Carlos talking)

"So you hear about "Logical Dash" Carlos? That song is great." Mike said.

"I haven't, though Paranoia Respect has a great rhythm to it as I've heard." Carlos said

"Wait a minute "as you've heard," you haven't even played the song have you?" Mike said

"Nope I felt the song was too hard even on light." Carlos said sweatdropped.

(Nell walks into the room Mike and Carlos were in)

"Maybe we should try it then." Mike said.

"Yeah...wait a minute isn't Supernova in Yellow Comet Territory?" Carlos said.

"Hmm, yeah I thought we had one in Orange Star." Mike said disappointed.

(Nell, however suddenly pops up into they conversation)

"Maybe we could steal it besides Kanbei's an idiot anyway, the only thing he notices missing are his Katana's and his so-called lucky socks." Nell said as she had seemingly already had a plan in mind to steal Yellow Comet's Supernova machine.

"So you want us to go into Yellow Comet's rec room and jack there Supernova...what will you be doing boss?" Carlos said.

"Playing a copy of Diseaga 2." Nell said as Carlos and Mike fell down anime style.

"My you come from the "Lazy Generation" don't you?" Carlos said.

"I thought she couldn't "Move-Ova-4-Supa-Nova." Mike said as they both laugh.

"Quit screwing around and get the machine." Nell yells anime style as she scares Mike and Carlos.

(A couple hours later at Yellow Comet Territory we see Mike and Carlos in their rec room lifting a Supernova machine)

"You know Carlos I really hope that Nell really enjoys that game she's playing while were doing the hard work, I'm going to get a friend to set it so Nell can't even do easy difficulty songs." Mike said angered that he didn't get a chance to play said pirated game Nell mentioned.

"You know that would be a hard thing to do why not just have people come up when she's playing and pick that "Max of Maxx" Oni Course each time, although who's going to distract her at each interval?" Carlos said

"I know who can make her distracted." Mike said with an evil grin.

(The next morning...before we go back to Orange Star, Kanbei, Sonja, are eating breakfast.)

"Ummm...father I noticed something very strange by the rec room today." Sonja said acting as calm as normal.

"I see daughter, was it more posters of that thing from ch. 17?" Kanbei said embarrassing her daughter.

"No...that's not true...and not...even the point..." Sonja said as Mikana entered the room...read the CO Chat Forum if you want to know more about Mikana.

"Ooohh delicious blackmail. Is it is it is it?" Mikana said hyperactively, annoying Sonja while doing so.

"No...it's not." Sonja said

"By the way good morning Mikana." Kanbei said to Mikana also taking a sip of some tea he got while Mikana and Sonja were arguing.

"Hiya Kanbei-kun, check out the rec room something's missing." Mikana said.

"First off your very energetic today as always, two don't call me Kanbei-kun, and three what's missing?"

"I don't know but it's the thing that can make an infantry/mech go down in not so viewtiful tears." Mikana said...while confusing Kanbei and Sonja.

"Daughter, was Mikana trying to make a three-in-one or two-in-one reference?" Kanbei said in a confused tone.

"I don't know, and that's what I was trying say for the last few minutes...someone stole our DDR Supernova machine." Sonja said in a panic-like tone.

"...Kanbei is outraged! Who could do such an evil thing?" Kanbei said suddenly getting angry.

"I Mikana was in the room and saw some orange spray paint in place of the Supernova machine Sonja-chan." Mikana said.

"...What did it say?" Sonja said annoyed.

"Umm...it said Nell was here, I don't really remember all the way." Mikana said sweatdropped.

"Well then we shall assault Orange Star and get our Supernova machine back." Kanbei said in his AW1 style voice.

(As Kanbei, Sonja, and Mikana got the T copter ready we skip back to Orange Star, as we see Mike and Carlos playing said Supernova machine.)

"I love this Peace song." Carlos said.

"I thought you liked the Super-Maxx-Me Mix?" Mike said as the author is hinting to a reference gag.

"Who said my name?" Max said as he stood up.

"...No one, we were just mentioning a song on this blatantly jacked Supernova machine." Mike said.

"I see, well have fun with it." Max said as he left the room.

"See you later Max." Carlos said as Max left.

"So Andy I saw Nell across the hall you ready with the plan?" Mike said to Andy who was also in the room.

"I am though why didn't I get any lines till now in this fic?" Andy said.

"The blatant fact the author hasn't had any of his one-shots or story break into the ten review range, and feels that he is ignored." Carlos said as we hear Nell sneezing across the hallway.

"Achoo! Could've sworn someone said something stupid regarding the author's inability to get actual reviews, and somehow it wasn't Andy who said it as we skip back to Andy.

"What? You know something is wrong with an author when jokes about reviews...but let's get that plan into action." Andy said as Nell walked into the room.

"Finally going to get a chance to play Supernova even if it was jacked from Yellow Comet." Nell said as she got on the machine.

"Hey Nell you don't mind if I join you do you?" Andy said as he started to play as well...and Mike starts the plan.

"Hey Nell how far did you get on that copy of Diseaga 2?" Mike said as Nell looked back as Andy immediately clicked it to Oni mode, and yes he picked "Max of Maxx Nell hasn't turned back at this point...also noted the machine was running on AOL...no offense to AOL users but it runs slow and hates forums."

"Well I can't say I just didn't want to do anything while you and Carlos did all the work for me." Nell laughs as she turns back to the game...though she's shocked to find yes, "Max 300" as the first song. "Andy what in the bloody heck did you pick!"

"I picked the "Max of Maxx" Oni course you fool." Andy said as they both got ready to do said song.

(A few minutes later...and yes I know that line should have been something else but I don't want to raise the rating of this fic)

"I should fire you all for playing a trick like that on me..." Nell said but a T-Copter crashes through the room and knocks Nell out."

"All hail Kanbei! The emperor of Yellow Comet is here." Kanbei said stepping out of the T-Copter not noticing a thing.

"Father I think you broke the machine...and possibly killed Orange Star's CiC" Sonja said as she looked at the chaos around it." Sonja said.

"Oh well while were here let's play their DDR Extreme machine." Mikana said as we close out this chapter.

End Ch. 21

"I thought I'd try something different with the DDR related chapter here and to explain Max of Maxx it's actually a very hard course in DDR Supernova...nuff said."


	22. Flak's Burnout

Advance Wars Drabbles

By Hiro Konobu

Ch.22: Flak's Burnout

"Yes the name gives it away in terms of it being a slight Burnout parody...and I still own nothing except my fanfics."

(One day at Black Hole we see Adder and Flak walking around the base talking)

"So I hear you got a new car Adder." Flak says with interest.

"Yes I did, but your not driving it." Adder said

"Oh how come, I can't drive the new car?" Flak said with some level of disappointment.

"Well let's see, you did pull a couple accidents on some crossways with the first car I got when you decided to take a joy ride in it." Adder said as he seemingly pulled out a projector to show past incidents of Flak.

"Well Flak was in a smash like mood..." Flak said trying to defend his actions

"You know Flak that's a horrible excuse I have the feeling you did that on purpose, but that would seem like something Lash would do." Adder said

"Well that's all I guess."

"Nope the car after that, I let you drive, but you drove us onto a deserted island and the only reason we didn't die was because Hawke was nearby...and the island driving should have been impossible." Adder said showing the pictures of said incident.

"But you said Lash gave you that car...it had jet engines in it, and it looked suspiciously like a Beetle we saw on the Internet." Flak said.

"...That's true she did give me that car but I better not see you trying to get quick joyride out of my newest car." Adder said as they looked at the cars in what seemed to be a garage.

"So that ugly piece of crap you car?" Flak said as he noticed a very ugly van in the garage.

"No that's just the "Madden Van." I was planning on blowing it up near some stupid Madden fans...and please it's just the same game every freaking' year!" Adder said calming himself down about to reveal the car he had.

"Whoa is that..." Flak said stunned.

"It's an "Assassin Super" car...and no you still can't drive it." Adder said.

"But it's so sweet..." Flak said nearly drooling at the car.

"No and if you dare try to drive it, I will hurt you...very bad." Adder said in one of those typical anime like anger scenes.

"...Wow Adder really doesn't want me to drive does he, well he can't say that I'm a worst driver than that one girl from "Azumanga Daioh"." Flak said as he exited the area...for now.

(Later that night)

"Stupid Adder saying I can't take a joyride with this car I'll do what I want with it." Flak said obviously with Adder's Keys that he stole in a non-mentioned scene.

"Hey Flak what are you doing?" Lash said with enough force to surprise even Hawke...in theory.

"Hey...don't scare me like Lash or the "Bruise Cruise" shall be broken up.

"Chill Flak I just wanted to get in on the joyriding action." Lash said

"Okay you can come just stay in the second seat...I wanted to drive this thing." Flak said as he and Lash went in the car.

"So where do you want to go?" Lash said.

"Nowhere in particular I just wanted to take a joyride in this thing." Flak starts it only to be surprised, by the music that was playing and backs into the Madden Van while he was at it.

"Flak what was that for?" Lash said slightly shocked.

"I don't know I got surprised by this "Lazy Generation" song and backed into the van on accident." Flak said.

"Who cares Madden sucks anyway." Lash said as she and Flak took a joyride in the car.

"This thing goes fast." Flak said while crashing through traffic.

"Thank you captain obvious." Lash said as they were going fast and causing a few crashes along the way, and also alerting the police as well.

"This is the recon police pull over you...miscreants." Some random police guy said.

"Eat our dust and crash ability." Flak said as he boosts into said recon and well...made it crash.

"Sir requesting backup..." Another random police guy said, as some more recons were following the two, also we skip back to Adder waking up and trying to get himself a midnight snack.

"I wonder why it's been suspiciously quiet tonight Lash is usually tinkering on something, and Flak usually mutters on about destroying all vegetables from the world." Adder said as he walked to the fridge only to find Hawke and Sturm watching the news on TV.

"Adder you should watch this I think it's important." Hawke said in a stoic tone.

"Why should I?" Adder said

"Well it's a car chase and we know how you love wanton destruction, and chaos." Sturm said.

"That's true I suppose I could watch a little bit of it." Adder said as he sat down to watch the broadcast only to find his car on the news. "What the hell I told Flak not to take a joyride in my "Assassin Super" car!"

"Wait, Adder that's your car?" Sturm said while Hawke continued watching.

"Yeah it is, Colin was having a car sale and the car was comparatively cheap..." As soon as Adder said that the "cheap" car he bought started to crash by way of a recon gang-up. "Well there some money down the drain..." Adder said in shock.

"Indeed." That was all Hawke and Sturm had to say as we skip to the chaos at hand being televised.

"So why did you let those recons gang up on you Flak?" Lash said as the car was about to crash into one of the recons.

"Well I had no choice...it's just like in that one game where other cars gang up on you to attack like those that stupid LAX team in wrestling...but for sake of not resorting to bad wrestling humor they will remain...forget it." Flak runs over said idiots while crashing.

"More proof the author needs to stop watching wrestling when doing his fics...and why did you suddenly have a change of thought on running over those three idiots." Lash said as the vehicle stopped.

"Well after the actions they did in Mexico one day i.e. the 15-1 gang up, utterly dishonorable...and on one Thursday...yeah I think were in enough trouble already so I'll stop there." Flak said.

"Strange, that sounded like something Javier would say." Lash said...slightly skipping over to Javier sneezing.

"Achoo!" Javier sneezed

"Anything wrong, Javier?" Jess asked.

"Just smell of (bleep)." Javier said...as he left Jess speechless...well this is only a K+ fic, anyway...

"You know even as we speak those guys are coming closer, however this red button is very shiny." Flak said as he pushed a button...yeah the explosion is very similar to a crashbreaker from the Burnout series...as the scene pauses and next it goes into a crime drama-ish sort of thing.

"As a result of Flak's joyride Flak had to spend 11 days in the barracks, after a spanking and agreeing to pay for a new car for Adder. Lash was sent to develop special modifications for Adder's car, also after getting a spanking, as for Hawke and Sturm they went along there daily business, and as for the author he got a spanking for making that lame reference joke, and was told to stop watching wrestling while doing fanfiction."

End Ch.22

"...Yeah I'm just going to let you figure it out."


	23. Dude, Where's My Missiles

Ch. 23: Dude, Where's My Missiles?

"Well need I say it I only own my fanfics, and this plot bunny of sorts."

"This plan and everything is perfect just like me...besides I thought it up." Kindle said while going into one her self satisfying laughs.

"So why are we trying to screw over the Allied Forces leader Kindle?" Koal said while watching some black hole troops, well a lot of them somehow carry out missiles from the OS base at night.

"Do not question Kindle...her plans are always...impeccable." Jugger said.

"That's right Jugger...are you using System Crash, because normally you don't say something like that." Kindle said coming out of her somewhat trademark laugh.

"Not exactly...Jugger still...suffering from...being installed with...Windows ME...thanks to Kin...Koal's Request" Jugger said obviously still under a virus of that program.

"Hey I was not the one who thought giving Jugger a virus would be suitable, and it was Kindle...Ow!" Koal said trying to defend himself as he got hit by Kindle.

"Enough of this banter, I tire of watching this mere missile sabotage." Kindle said.

"So what does Kindle suggest?" Jugger said.

"Well I thought we attack on the next day and use her technique against her." Kindle said.

"Fine plan...is that all." Koal said sarcastically as he gets hit again by Kindle.

"Don't question my plans Koal." Kindle said

"Jugger wonders...did Koal get up on the wrong side of the bed today?" Jugger said.

"Jugger...shut it..." Koal said.

(Skip to next morning where we see that Orange Star base is in shambles so to speak by Rachel, and we see Nell confronting her.)

"Umm...Rachel why are you acting so frantic around the base?" Nell said sweatdropped.

"Hey sis I can't find my missiles. Have you seen them?" Rachel says as she's searching the base for her infamous missiles.

"No I haven't, and could you not leave the base in shambles sis, I need to keep this base clean...or at least Sami does." Nell said.

"They're my missiles sis, and without them I can't use my "Covering Fire" Super CO Power because of it." Rachel said still wondering where her missiles went.

"With all this going on I just know something is going to go wrong, or something else will happen that will be kind of stupid." Nell said as Jake and Andy come into the room.

"Hiya, Nell" Andy said.

"Sup' Nell what's up...and what's Rachel doing with Sami's assault rifle?" Jake said looking confused.

"Oh nothing much, Rachel has gone crazy over the fact she can't find her missiles anywhere in this base." Nell said sighing. "What's a big sis, to do for her crazy little sister."

"Rachel isn't crazy...she's uh...cute..." Andy said stupidly while blushing, also making everyone sweatdrop, even Rachel herself also by now dropping Sami's assault rifle.

"Andy...was that really necessary?" Nell said

"What I just think Rachel is...well...cute." Andy said blushing as Rachel followed suit.

"What a random way to imply a pairing..." Nell said confused.

"Indeed...however we should try to find them." Jake said at a slight loss for words.

(Meanwhile before the Allied forces began searching for Rachel's missiles, we see Jugger, Koal, and Kindle at said place trying to ambush part of the allied forces with the missiles the stolen.)

"I wonder if the allied fools have decided to actually search for the ugly girl's missiles?" Koal said wondering if the people will actually show up.

"I bet you...right now...Rachel is searching...uneffectively for her missiles." Jugger said guarding some of the missiles.

"I think she wont besides she and that bimbo older sister of hers, are probably afraid of my beauty." As Kindle says this we see two people on a hill scouting them...

"You know Nell and Rachel are going to have some material to insult them when they get here." Mike said looking over on the field.

"That's true, especially with Kindle's bimbo comment and Koal calling Rachel ugly...yet again." Carlos said.

"...And people wonder why those two only have a 65 tag ability with each other..." Mike said as he called Nell, Jake, Andy, and Rachel, about the location and those comments, and as expected...

"That hi-class trash called me what!" Nell said obviously hearing the comment made to her by Kindle...also Rachel was pretty angry as well about the comment made to her by Koal.

"That...evil...son of a..." Before Rachel could say something Andy stopped.

"Rachel, not necessary." Andy said covering Rachel's mouth.

"Oh sorry, Andy." Rachel said sweatdropped.

"Yeah, Rach that wasn't cool." Jake said.

"Look alive CO's were here." Nell said

"Yeah, now we can bust a cap in the bolt guards..." Jake said before Nell, Rachel, and Andy glared at him before he cold finish.

"Don't say that word Jake." Rachel said still glaring at Jake.

"Sorry..." Jake said sweatdropped.

"Anyway there's the bolt guard, let's attack them." Andy said before getting stopped by said bolt guard.

"Hold it right there! Don't you work for us?" Kindle said...somehow forgetting about the real Andy.

"No, I've been told that your Andy was much smarter and blue..."

"Anyway, back to the business at hand, Rachel we have your missiles if you want them back...well you and your bimbo sister..." Kindle said as a horseshoe was thrown at Kindle.

"I'm not a bimbo!" Nell said as she and Kindle got into a word spouting fight...and we see Koal and Rachel doing the same.

"Shrimp!" Rachel said

"Ugly cheerleader!" Koal said.

"You're a diminutive freak!" Rachel said.

"You faceless hag!" Koal says.

"You're very compact aren't you?" Rachel said.

"You're a hag!" Koal said.

"...Umm you're a tater tot!" Rachel said.

"Maybe we should just get down to the battle...cause this is just getting ridiculous." Koal said as the word spouting was just getting ridiculous.

"Yeah we should stop, and just get to the battle." Rachel said as they went to their respect areas for the tag battle.

As such we skip to Jake, Andy, Mike, and Carlos assessing the situation.

"So Mike any reason why the "candlestick" would call Nell that?" Jake said.

"I think it's because she will be only liked by gay people...and I don't mean any offense to them as well." Mike said.

"Wait, I thought it was because she wasn't popular enough to prevent her being bashed." Andy said.

"It could be that as well but were still not sure why." Carlos said.

"Ok then, well I have nothing else to say." Jake said deciding to turn his attention to the verbal fight at hand.

"So had enough?" Nell said out of breath.

"You're pretty tough but we should probably start our war like tag battle now shouldn't we?"Kindle said.

"Yeah we should." Nell said as she and Rachel got ready for a tag fight with Kindle and Koal however we skip again to when Kindle and Koal's CO meters were charged because I'm sure almost no one knows how to write a battle like this...

"Now feast upon a great spectacle." Kindle said.

"What spectacle is that, snob?" Rachel said.

"Yeah, if you can even call it that." Nell said

"You'll see you uncultured pieces of trash." Kindle said as she was about to use Rachel's Super against her by way of a remote but..."Hey what isn't the move working?" Kindle said pressing the remote's button with no response.

(Sometime earlier during the battle...we see Jugger "accidentally" breaking the remote when he was suffering from getting that Windows ME program installed on him.)

"Umm...Kindle did you by any chance see the tape around the remote?" Koal said sating the obvious.

"Well I guess your whole missile stealing plan/copying my move didn't work did it?" Rachel said laughing.

"Sis, don't get cocky let's just tag battle." Nell said as she and Rachel used their tag battle tech...and destroying a lot of units while doing so.

"No I really didn't see it, Jugger did you do this?" Kindle said, but before Jugger could answer...three missiles come out and blow them sky high.

"...Well this is a horrible way to do a reference..." Koal said.

"But at least it's with a slight hint of style..." Kindle said.

"Agreed." Jugger said.

"Looks like the Bolt Guard is missiled off again!" Jugger, Kindle, and Koal said as they got blasted out of view.

"Well I guess someone might be in trouble for that reference so lets go back to OS base and sum up the rest of the events and plot-holes left...by the voice used in the last chapter." Rachel said.

_"Hello it's me again, anyway after Rachel somehow got her special back she simply explained that those were only her spare missiles...and some more implied pairing bits between Andy and Rachel ensued, though Jake and Nell just went on with their lives as normal,and Kindle got severely tortured for installing Jugger with Windows ME...and by that...well I can't say it in this fanfic, but you could probably figure it out on your own."_

"This is just my take on what would happen if Rachel had her missiles stolen from her somehow."

End Ch.23


	24. Brilliant!

Advance Wars Drabbles  
By Hiro Konobu  
Ch. 24: Brilliant!

"Okay...maybe this chapter was an excuse to get something out, despite lots and lots of school work...and finals as well, though the title speaks for itself, and as always I only own my fanfics."

"Ah! Yes this serum is perfect...now to test it on someone." Lash said obviously working on something...not so good, and also trying to find Adder for her little experiment.

"So Adder any word on how Flak is doing?" Hawke said while getting some coffee out of the coffee machine located there.

"No idea after he crashed my car he went up missing...also I should note my Custom Coupe Ultimate was gone as well."

"So why didn't you go after him?" Hawke says while taking a drink and setting it down on the table.

"Well he was too far gone when I noticed he left for possibly another joyride." Adder said still talking to Hawke.

"I see...why haven't you gotten alarms for your cars?" Hawke said.

"...Well...I'm kind of enamored with this new series on the TV called "Colin-nomics: Don't Pay More For Anything That You Don't Have To." It's kind of addicting, like "Deal or No Deal"." Adder said.

"I don't blame you...at least for the Deal or No Deal part, though why are you even watching a Colin related show anyway...Colin's a scrub." Hawke said.

(Meanwhile at Blue Moon we see Colin sneezing three times at once)

"Colin, are you feeling sick? Because you did sneeze three times." Sasha said

"No, it's just that I have a condition whenever someone calls me a scrub." Colin said then proceeding to sneeze fifteen more times, three for every count of being called a scrub.

"Well I'm off to just make some popcorn." Sasha said as she left Colin to do so...and we also skip back to Adder and Hawke still talking about stuff.

"Dish hates anime fans and gamers..." Adder said confusing Hawke, and possibly the readers.

"What do you mean by that Adder?" Hawke said.

"Oh I'm sorry I was just trying to think of a random thought...that was true." Adder said.

Alright then, anything else you want to talk about?" Hawke said.

"Nope I'm fine." Adder said.

"I do!" Lash said in a loud voice surprising both Adder and Hawke...in more ways than one.

"Lash, what in the name of the great ice cream salesman are you doing here?" Adder said.

"Well I want you to test out my new serum Andy Bogard." Lash said.

"One I will not, and two that isn't my name." Adder said before Hawke gently tapped him on the shoulder.

"She was referring to another video game's character where you got the quote from, hence the name calling towards the old "Fatal Fury" game." Hawke said while Adder sweatdropped.

"Hawke how do you know this stuff?" Adder said still sweatdropped.

"Well I just have a lot of free time on my hands..." Hawke said leaving everyone else sweatdropped.

"So what say you Adder and help me with this experimental serum." Lash said trying to force Adder to do so.

"Not so fast, I remember what happened last time when you "experimented" on me we both became the opposite gender...temporarily." Adder said, trying to get himself of a potentially embarrassing situation.

"Well it was only temporary like you just said, anyway can you do it?" Lash said as she puts the serum down near Hawke's coffee, and continues you to push Adder into doing her "experimenting".

"Well this should serve to be amusing." Hawke said unknowing that he put the serum in his coffee and drank it all, while Adder an Lash were still arguing.

"So what if that last experiment went awry, that's still no reason to force anyone to participate in your crazy ideas." Adder said still trying to get out of an unnecessary experiment.

"So what I'm not going to say anything else except for my CO tech in order to get you to listen Prime Tactics!" Lash said...

"Brilliant!" ...as Hawke said that to interrupt her.

"...Umm...Sidewinder?" A confused Adder said.

"Brilliant!" Hawke said.

"Power of Money?" Lash said still confused.

"Broken!" Hawke said, as we could of heard Colin sneezing in the background.

"Well I guess I can't participate in your little experiment now can I?" Adder said quickly running off.

"Coward! I should turn you into a girl again, and this time permantly!" Lash said, obviously seeming very angry.

"So Lash tell me what was the vial I put into my coffee called?" Hawke said in a scary type of his normal stoic voice but in a scary tone towards Lash.

"Well it was called "Brilliant Blue" forces anyone who drinks it to say "Brilliant!" for a certain amount of time whenever a something related to games, anime, fanfic, and/or wresting related." Lash said trying her best to avoid an obvious Black Waving...or Storming.

"...Why would create something so useless?" Hawke said.

"For cheap and unfunny laughs..." Lash said as the sound of crickets emanated from the area. "So what if it wasn't funny...if the jokes were understood then yes." Lash said pouting.

"That's it?" Hawke said somewhat confused.

"That and it makes you act slightly OOC." Lash said.

"I see, anything else?" Hawke said still in his stoic tone.

"Nope that's all...Chris Benoit." Lash said trying to activate the aforementioned effects of the drink.

"What...Brilliant!" Hawke said still on the effects of the drink.

"Samoa Joe..." Lash said

"Brilliant!" Hawke said.

"Cough...LAX...cough" Lash said.

"Rubbish!!" Hawke said even louder than the brilliants mentioned earlier.

"That should suffice...for now." Lash said.

"What do you mean "for now"?" Hawke said in his typical tone of voice.

"Well I still have some more tests with this I want to infect the other armies with this so we can steal their headquarters for screen time." Lash said giggling.

"Well...crap..." Hawke said.

(Later that day we see Sturm minding his own business...)

"And that's the bottom line cause Sturm said so!" Sturm said obviously acting so much out of character, and some more gratuitous wrestling referencing.

(...Scratch that he was playing a certain PS2 game which will remain nameless.)

"Sturm you didn't need to say that..." Adder said obviously losing in said video game.

"Of course I did it comes getting too many ideas for creating ourselves." Sturm said.

"That's true, but still want to go another round?" Adder said grinning.

"Yes, so I can own you again." Sturm said as well...but we can't see the grinning under his snifit-like mask, and as they go another round we see Lash and Hawke right behind the two.

"Okay Hawke the plan here is to scare the boss and emo snake-boy." Lash said referring to Adder and, Sturm.

"What's an emo-snake boy?" Hawke said obviously letting that OOC part of the vial affect him.

"Maybe I put too much Andy essence into that vial, anyway...Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi." Lash said.

"Brilliant!" Hawke said as he surprises both Adder and Sturm.

"Gah what the heck this isn't supposed to be as random as an episode of Excel Saga" Sturm said.

"Brilliant!" Hawke said.

"...Hmm 4 kids One Piece..." Adder said.

"Bloody Horrible!" Hawke said with an emphasis on the horrible.

"Anyway what did you really put in him Lash?" Sturm said surprising Lash.

"How did you know it was me anyway Sturm?" Lash said still in shock.

"Well who's the one doing all the weird experiments all the time, and also acting hyper all of the time?" Sturm said.

"Well, Sturm got you there Lash." Adder said pointing out the obvious fact.

"Quiet snake-boy." Sturm said as Adder drooped his head down.

"Anyway it was a serum to make people say "Brilliant!" like those guys in a certain beer commercial. I was originally gonna give it to Adder, but he chickened out." Lash said.

"Adder you coward..."

"So I thought the side effect of her drink would turn me into a girl again." Adder said.

"Coward..." Hawke said.

"...Psychonauts." Lash said as she was trying again to make the drinks' effect work again.

"Brilliant!" Hawke said.

"Phantom Brave." Sturm said.

"Brilliant!" Hawke said again.

"...50 Cent Bulletproof." Adder said as Hawke went out of the room because he had to throw up after Adder mentioned that game.

"Adder...harsh." Lash said shaking her head.

"Indeed." Sturm said agreeing with Lash.

"What it's not my fault I can't get one of these "Brilliant!" sequences for me to work for me." Adder said.

"But still things like that shouldn't be mentioned." Lash said as Hawke came back.

"Adder remind me to hurt you very badly later." Hawke said.

"What about Kindle?" Adder said

"Her too, because she's a candle." Hawke said.

"Anyway how 'bout those fanfics we see online." Lash said trying to switch the subject.

"Like how good those Advance Wars fanfics we see." Sturm said.

"Shameless self promotion!" Hawke said.

"Why didn't he say Brilliant?" Adder said.

"See I'm still testing that part out, it seems to say different things when fanfiction is concerned." Lash said.

"Well SSX Tricky fanfic writers?" Sturm said.

"Slightly stuck up!" Hawke said.

"Ranma 1/2 fanfic writers." Adder said.

"Stuck up to the 11th degree!" Hawke said.

"He's right you know." Lash said.

"I bet the author is still angry about that incident..." Sturm said.

"The author's fanfics." Adder said.

"...I can't say!" Hawke said as the serum had worn off mysteriously.

"Well this was interesting...that and the fact I forget that the serum wears off after an undisclosed amount of time." Lash said, though Adder didn't know...

"Avatar The Last..." Adder said as Hawke, Lash, and Sturm pleaded with him not to say it all. "Airbender" ...It didn't work, as a result after that was said we see the four mentioned throwing up.

End Ch. 24

"Well this ended on a bad joke...anyway if you've ever seen the last mentioned fanfics you'd probably throw up too...and how I knew that was because of a bet."


	25. AWD Tidbits

Advance Wars Drabbles  
Ch. 25: AWD Tidbits  
By Hiro Konobu

Ch. 25: AWD TidbitsBy Hiro Konobu 

"With this being the 25th chapter, and being so close to the Christmas season, I thought I'd give you some bits and pieces of The Advance Wars Drabbles that never quite made it...and read the chapters beforehand for the disclaimer."

(The scene starts with Mikana coming out of backroom sort of place, to an audience of sorts.)

"Hello everyone I'm Mikana and welcome to AWD Tidbits. If you're wondering why the author isn't here doing this...well I hear he's trying to launch an assault on certain meanies...by that I mean 4 kids. So lets get down to some clip show goodness with the first chapter of this whole fanfic." Mikana said as the first clip was being shown.

(I.E.: The first chapter of this whole collection, Deleted Scene...mostly.)

"I heard that Jake also manages to draw crude pictures of the other CO's mainly Kindle." Carlos said back to his buddy.

"I think that would be obvious to why no one likes her you know with her being stuck up and all." Mike said to Carlos. "On a side I think he hates Max as well." Mike also said

"Why do you think that Mike?" Carlos said

"You know I thought that he had a blackmailing picture of Max about a secret love of indirects I got while snooping around Orange Star HQ." Mike said also bringing out a picture of Max actually getting more range for his indirects...and as it was pulled out Max started to freak out about someone finding his secret love of indirects.

"What, you will tell no one about this!" As Max said he attempted to lunge for the picture Mike dodges however and Max falls out the window as the clip ends.

(Laughter and applause are heard from the audience)

"Right, and it says here on the paper the reason he didn't include this was because it didn't feel funny enough." Mikana said "So let's get going on another clip." Mikana said as another clip starts to show.

(I.E.: From Ch. 14, Deleted Scene)

"Turn my gender back to normal now Lash!" Adder said very as he saw the gun and accidentally presses the obligatory red button that was labeled self-destruct when he pushed it a bright flash encompassed the two...however...

"What the..." Was all a stunned female version of Sturm could say...as it got him and Hawke.

"Lash...I never want you to make stupid inventions like this again." Hawke said, obviously looking like a female version of himself.

"Oh come on inventions like these are great you crazy funsters!" Lash said.

(More laughter and applause are heard from the audience)

"Glad you liked that...now the author told me he didn't put that scene in due to thinking that Hawke fanboys would get angry at him for making him a girl, and thinking no one would get the quote at the end...though to me it's a very funny story idea...just give the author credit if you try it along this route, anyway here's another spiffy clip...and yes I'm just supposed to be background to set up the next part."

(The audience laughs as the next deleted scene is shown from another chapter. I.E.: The 11th one.)

"Why yes I did Max, big strong people really shouldn't try to think to hard." Nell said while trying to be blunt.

"Well...you shouldn't as well because your a blonde." Max said as the two started to bicker endlessly.

(The audience doesn't laugh as much as the previous clips)

"This scene was deleted for obvious reasons...and for also being offensive to blondes." Mikana said as she held up some scissors.

(The audience laughs at this until another deleted scene is shown I.E.: From Ch. 20.)

(We see Sasha and Colin standing outside the 4 kids building)

"So where's Olaf Colin? Besides he said to wait outside in front of the building." Sasha said.

"W-w-well he said that h-he needed to do something." Colin said.

"It must be scary if..." Sasha says as...Olaf comes out...

"Ok I'm out...and what's up with your faces?" Olaf said as he was wearing no pants...scaring both Sasha, Colin and possibly the readers.

"I, my brother's and the readers sweet virgin eyes!" Sasha said as Mikana stopped said clip early, and went outside the room and threw up.

"I'm sorry for that bit of unprofessionalism, that clip was deleted due to Olaf not wearing any pants...and I'm sorry to all who saw that...but there was another deleted scene, though this one involving a DS with Elite Beat Agents in it." Mikana said as the next deleted scene from the same chapter was shown on the screen.

"Makes...no difference..." The Khan guy said, as he was playing said game mentioned earlier, and unfortunately beats the song..."Not bad for a warm up now for that La La song...as I rape anime, I have very bad music taste...hence why I also like Hilary Duff...and that Material girl song..though that Canned Heat is horrible...now to play the La La song..." Khan said as he fails it almost immediately...of course he tries some more times before he throws throws the DS up against the wall...

"Truthfully this secne was deleted due to the incoherent-ness of it...anyway here's the next one."

(Another deleted scene is shown I.E.: From Ch. 21.)

"...Now I'm not angry at what you brought...but why would you get a stupid bad playing, and literaly broken Time Killers machine." Nell said getting increasingly angry.

"Well how were we suppsosed to know what it was?" Carlos said.

"Yeah it was incredibly dark in there." Mike said.

"What does darkness have to do with anything!?" Nell said

"Ok..." Mike said...As Carlos went into his quote about joining Blue Moon.

(The audience laughs as a blooper is shown from another chapter immediately. I.E.: Ch. 17 again.)

"Don't act like that to me daughter, and also I know you like wrestling so don't try to act non-fangirlish on me and your love of the wrestler Brian Kendricks." Kanbei said trying to do something blackmailing to Sonja, but she laughs as Kanbei made a mistake in his wording.

"Father you screwed up the line..." Sonja said giggling a bit.

"Kanbei shall not make that error again." Kanbei said.

(Take two on that scene.)

"Don't act like that to me daughter, and also I know you like wrestling so don't try to act non-fangirlish on me and your love of the wrestler A.J. Styles." Kanbei said trying to do something blackmailing to Sonja, but she laughs as Kanbei made a mistake in his wording.

"Father, you screwed up the line again." Sonja said hanging her head down.

"Kanbei hates wrestling now..." Kanbei said a little fustrated.

(The audience laughs at this mishap.)

"Yeah from what I've been told Kanbei hasn't been the same after that day when it relates to wrestling." Mikana said trying to get some more laughs out the crowd but failing to do so. "Oh come on you know it's funny."

(The audience stays silent as the next blooper plays out I.E.: From Chapter 15.)

(The audience stays silent as the next blooper plays out I.E.: From Chapter 20.)

"Yeah 4Kids rapes stuff like Shaman King and One Piece for example." Colin said.

"How about Ojamo Doremi?" Sasha said before Olaf makes a point of his own.

"Or even Sailor Moon?" Olaf said leaving Colin and Sasha speechless. "What? Can't Blue Moon's leader watch cutesy Mahou Shoujo anime?" Olaf said.

"No you just said the wrong line, O Bearded One..." Grit said.

"Oh I did...damn...let me try that again."

(The next take...)

"Yeah 4Kids rapes stuff like Shaman King and One Piece for example." Colin said.

"How about Ojamo Doremi?" Sasha said before Olaf makes a point of his own.

"Or even that Mermaid Melody anime?" Olaf said leaving Colin and Sasha speechless. "Crap ?" Olaf said.

"No you just said the wrong line, O Bearded One..." Grit said.

"Oh I did...damn...let me try that again."

(The audience laughs as Mikana stares in slight shock at that last scene.)

"Wow I'm so saving this blackmail so I can use it later." Mikana said before a gruff-like voice is heard.

"Not so fast I have a lawyer here saying that you can't!" The voice said but coming out to reveal himself as Olaf.

"Um...Olaf I'm in the middle of a show...can't this wait till after the show?" Mikana said a little embarssed.

"Oh ok then..." Olaf said.

"I'm Mikana and this has been AWD Tidbits." Mikana said as the show ends...

End Ch. 25

"You could probably guess what happened next..."


	26. Nell's Dancing Stage

Advance Wars Drabbles  
By Hiro Konobu  
Ch. 26: Nell's Dancing Stage

"As always I only own my fanfics, and this slight poke fun of the European version of DDR."

(We look towards Orange Star HQ, and we see Nell waking up)

"I really need to find someplace where I can play DDR in peace it just getting super ridiculous on how I keep getting stopped each time I play it as well, and by that I mean the three times I've done so, though I'll admit the second one was my fault..." Nell said as we could see some bits from the previous three times she's played DDR...well at least in her mind from Max accidentally picking Max 300 all because it had his name in it, from her screwing up in terms of not paying attention to Max a second time, as well as Andy picking "Max of Maxx" in the last DDR related chapter, all while barely surviving an accidental bomber crash from Kanbei. "You know as soon as I get my successful DDR game down I'm going to steal Kanbei's swords..." Nell said as she think out loud making some random people around the base sweat drop including Mike and Carlos.

"So any way Mike, any news of some new stuff for the rec room?" Carlos said.

"Well I hear were stated to get some more rhythm related games." Mike said.

"In that case, what are they?" Carlos said.

"They are, Drummania 10th Mix, Guitar Freaks 11th Mix, In The Groove, and Pump It Up." Mike said.

"Now the first three I can understand, but why are we getting a horrible DDR game rip off in Pump It Up?" Carlos said.

"Well I hear Nell managed to get it off of an arcade owner who really didn't need it." Mike said.

"Something tells me there was an ulterior motive to that..." Carlos said.

"Well I heard she went down there with a couple of infantry, to and I quote "to make a deal" with the arcades' owner." Mike said.

"So they had a banker over there." Carlos said as Mike comically hit him.

"No that wasn't related to "Deal or No Deal" besides I think Nell would have taken a six-figure deal in that case." Mike said.

"So on second thought was she wearing a costume?" Carlos said getting comically hitting him with a paper fan from Mike.

"No...that's "Let's Make a Deal" besides I don't think the owner was related to "Monty Hall" in any aspect, anyway let's stop with the game show references, in all honesty Nell just did that mob like stuff, that I wont mention for the sake of the rating." Mike said.

"Why?" Carlos said confused.

"Well he doesn't want to unnecessarily raise the rating of this fanfic collection." Mike said

"Ok, say where's Nell anyway?" Carlos said as a fighter zoomed by overhead.

"I think that where she is..." Mike said.

(Meanwhile on the aforementioned fighter)

"Well this is an absolutely horrible way to start another plot point, besides rambling on is best served towards Andy, Lash, or even Colin." Nell said looking around her fighter as some pictures of well hot video game males...which will not be mentioned as the author tried to make a bad reference to Metal Gear Solid 3. "Well after a blatant plot hole use I see the Green Earth base." Nell said as she gets a radio transmission from their base.

"Excuse me unidentified aircraft what is your business here?" The radio operator said

"Well...to...see...Eagle...okay to play DDR at your base ok." Nell said.

"You can land...even if this bit was lame." The radio operator said as she lands at the base.

"Well now since that's done it's time for me to play some "DDR", though not Max Of Maxx again, besides whoever thought those songs were a good idea must've been high." Nell said as we skip to a place in Japan.

"We need another hard song for our off-sync "Supernova" game...I'm thinking another Trip Machine." Some guy in a business suit said...seemingly high, though for the sake of rating we shall say he's sugar high.

"No, I say another Paranoia mix is in order, besides no one will know the difference with the many Paranoia's we've done, also why do you need Konami original songs?" The second guy said also high.

"You know that line gave me a great idea, we should do another "MAXX" song, and we shall call it Fascination Maxx, in terms they'll be so obsessed with the new "MAXX" music they wont even care if we just spit all over the fandom with a ridiculously difficult song." The Boss said as he was also sugar high.

"Wait boss let's make an Oni/Challenge version of that song and put it only on an Oni Course." The first guy said still sugar high.

"Good idea not only that but, we shall put all the previous maxes we've done and call it "Max of Maxx" it'll be good." The second guy said still sugar high as we skip back to Nell, who seemingly found Green Earth's rec room.

"Well I've found the place where their DDR is supposed to be no thanks to a blatant plot hole with seemingly Family Guy-esque humor, say where is that DDR game at anyway?" Nell said as she looked around for the machine as Jess snuck up behind her...sort of.

"Hey Nell what are you doing here?" Jess said surprising Nell.

"Jess, well...I wanted to play DDR without any interruption from the "Gung-Ho Gorilla" Max, and/or "What's a delete clicker?" Andy, and also where is your DDR machine?" Nell said as she looked around.

"Well we have DDR but..." Jess said as she led Nell to their DDR machine only to find another type of DDR there.

"What...is...this?" Nell said confused.

"It's called Dancing Stage, basically a European version of DDR, besides we are supposed to be the European representation of Advance Wars so it's only right that we get a European version of DDR which ended up being called Dancing Stage." Jess said.

"Well, that seems redundant, just like how Konami keeps the good songs to themselves."

(Yes, we skip back to those semi-likeable sugar high guys discussing more stuff about DDR.)

"So any other good songs we should keep to ourselves?" The first guy said.

"Let's see, there's Sakura, almost any BeforU song, Dam Dariam and any other song that seems, or sounds cool." The second guy said.

"You know instead of those cool songs let's give them Gambol, I'm For Real, and that one Cancun song that was so horrible that I can't even remember it's name..." The boss said before we skip back to Nell and Jess about to play their first song on that European DDR machine.

"Well, talk about unnecessary plot holes." Jess said as she was currently picking a song on Dancing Stage.

"Indeed, so what do have planned for the first song on this game." Nell said as she was looking at the song selection that Jess was picking.

"How do you feel about "Cotton-Eye Joe" Nell?" Jess said.

"What, well I'm not familiar with it but I'll give it a shot." Nell said as Jess picked the song and had played to the end of the song where Jess had grabbed an "A" while Nell got a "C".

"What can you expect, we own this game." Jess said with a slight grin.

"Really, you know that grin wasn't necessary." Nell said.

"Anyway, your turn to pick Nell." Jess said hanging back on the bar.

"Ok then I'll just pick "Never Let You Down" Then." Jess said as Nell picked said song and had played to the end of the song where this time Jess had grabbed an "B" while Nell surprisingly got a "AA".

"...But how..." Jess said in slight hysterics.

"Well it's on one of my PS2 DDR's, well the first max one..." Nell said

"Fine then but you're choosing the last song." Jess said.

"Okay then." Nell said and as she picks her last song who other show up than Eagle and Drake.

"Hey Eagle, isn't that Jess playing DDR, and who is that other person?" Drake said as Eagle recognized the second figure almost instantly.

"Wait, that's Nell of Orange Star what's she doing here?" Eagle said.

"Well I think it was to get away from Andy, and Max, but that's just me I figure." Drake said as Eagle had some other things to say.

"Though I'm thinking she hasn't had a chance to play a successful three round DDR game yet." Eagle said before thinking.

"Why do you think that Eagle?" Drake said confused.

"Well I've been reading the previous chapters of the collection in my off time, and it says she hasn't had a chance to get one in yet, though in the last one I remember she got hit by a Kanbei driven Bomber." Eagle said.

"Wow, when it comes to luck Nell doesn't have any in that aspect." Drake said as he was unaware of Eagle escaping his view.

"Since that obligatory talk is now done time to screw with Nell again as I did the last time." Eagle said as he went to block Nell screen of view on the game she was playing, though at the time the song Nell was playing was in the middle part of the song.

"For one thing this is a cool song and it looks like I'll be able to finally get a successful DDR run." Nell said before Eagle came up.

"That's what you think." Eagle said blatantly blocking the screen.

"Eagle what in the name of the great hair care salespeople...I mean why are you doing this?" Nell said while immediately stopping what she was doing.

"Why Eagle, I want too know too before I start hitting you." Jess said still playing her game.

"Well I wanted to mess with Nell and as it looks thanks to this talk her meter is now empty as this song nears it's end point." Eagle says laughing but the song ends he gets hit with what appears to be an artillery shell.

"Eagle! That was really mean for what you did to Nell, she could breakdown in tears because of what you did!" Jess said starting to chase Eagle across the base with her artillery shell, and we don't hear from them after this for the rest of the chapter, and just as Jess predicted Nell broke down in tears on why she's never had a good run with a DDR machine.

"Oy, vey..." Drake said shaking his head.

End Ch. 26

"Will Nell ever get a successful DDR run? Will Eagle escape the wrath of Jess's artillery shell? Find out that story in Ch. 31, but for the rest of you stay tuned till next chapter."


	27. Strange Elite Beat Intervention

Advance Wars Drabbles  
By Hiro Konobu  
Ch. 27: Strange Elite Beat Intervention

"Hello everyone and welcome to this chapter of the Advance Wars Drabbles, and as always I only own my fanfics."

(We start by seeing Sasha facing off against Kindle at Bean Island, after a very long back story that would only be extremely boring if explained further.)

"Kindle I want you to give me my DS back! You uncouth candlestick!" Sasha said seemingly very angry.

"Please, this piece of trash, I'm going to throw it away with all the Madden games I stole from the stupid people who don't know it's the same game every year, in the desert where they put all those E. T. games." Kindle said making Sasha sweatdrop a little.

"So this means I can find My DS in Alamogordo, New Mexico?" Sasha said making Kindle sweatdrop.

"Well, yes that's where I was going to put it, where crap belongs." Kindle said laughing annoying Sasha a bit annoyed.

"You know if it was a PSP I wouldn't care but in this case it's my freaking DS, and I'm almost done with the FF3 game inside!" Sasha said getting increasingly angry.

"Oh this old RP...wait why are you playing an FF game? you know most of them, although good most of the time, it's still a very overrated series like Halo is." Kindle said.

"May I say something candle stick, regarding the FF series that was 9 and above, the one in there is the unreleased 3rd game in the series." Sasha said dryly getting Kindle angry.

"...Ok, but I tire of this banter of overrated-ness, though while we were doing so my units were capturing the top properties which shall give me the advantage even from the blue side, and don't call me candle stick."

"...Wait! I thought units weren't supposed to move like that while we were talking." Sasha said surprised.

"No I took a vial of "SNK boss syndrome" that Lash forcefully made for me, in turn it makes me incredibly hard to defeat, like that final boss DOA 4." Kindle said.

"Well wouldn't that make you speak in 90's terms, since most of them came out in that time frame." Sasha said.

"...No..." Kindle said as she advances her units near her HQ.

(After Sasha sees the property issue after the talk she could only say one thing. "HEEEAAALP!" It then skips to a guy in a militaristic uniform seeing said events play out, and yes the words Commander Khan was listed on the bar.)

"Agents Spin, J, and Chieftain are..." Khan said before one of his agents interrupted him.

"Hold on a second, how is it possible that we gonna be able to help her she in another dimension." Chieftain said.

"...Well think about how we were able to go back in time to 15th century Florence, that shouldn't have been nowhere near possible." Spin says.

"Well it is, I have ways doing so with machines that bend space and time besides J would know, I sent him to take care of an issue in an anime that had gone completely wrong." Khan says.

"...And I probably know that all too well...fixing errors in cutesy magical girl anime is very traumatizing." J said still shocked from remembering his last mission.

"Let me guess he sent you to fix a problem in that Tokyo Mew Mew anime?" Spin says, as J nods his head in agreement.

"That's just cold boss...wait where are the Divas? It seems like their job to do this." Chieftain said while Spin was trying to comfort J who was now in the fetal position.

"Well their on a mission in another anime...I wont say the one in particular."

"Oh, ok then..." Chieftain says as he notices J still in the fetal position.

"Catgirls, birdgirls, monkeygirls, dolphingirls, wolfgirls, and aliens!" J said as Khan was beginning to get annoyed by this.

"Agent J! Get off your butt right now you have a mission to do! Even if you have no speaking roles in the next part." Khan said in an angry tone.

"Ok!" J said as he was startled by the tone of his boss.

"Anyway...Agents are...GO!!!" Khan said as Spin, J, and Chieftain get to the aforementioned place.

"What am I going to do..." Sasha says as some music suddenly plays in the background right after the aforementioned agents get here, as for the music playing, I'll let you decide what's best here.

"Are you ready 3, 2, 1, GO!!" The agents said as Sasha begin to fend off Kindle's units with her own.

"Why are you putting up this pitiful struggle, urchin you know I will win very gracefully." Kindle said as the battle rages on.

"No you will not I'm already planning my comeback right now." Sasha said feeling very confident.

"How is that possible urchin? You're a peaceful CO and unable to attack with your powers." Kindle said repeating here last insult and laughing in her typical lame fashion.

"Oh yeah...but you forget those extra funds I get...and the fact I stole my brother's ability to build units, allows me to build this!" Sasha said a large Megatank appears out of nowhere and starts blasting Kindle's units to pieces.

"How the..." Kindle said shocked.

"Now for the cities!" Sasha said as the next scene that played out was Sasha trying to capture the aforementioned cities..

"Now what makes you think you capture my cities you foolish fool? Besides I activate the ultimate fund destroyer Urban Blight!" Kindle said noticing nothing happened. "What happened?" Kindle said shocked.

"Well for one thing I used Market Crash last turn nullifying your powers." Sasha said as she captured the properties mentioned earlier. "Now for the final assault!" Sasha said as all of her units decided to attack Kindle's base.

"How did I lose my huge advantage?" Kindle said as she watches more of her units get decimated.

"Well for one thing most people who like this game hate you, besides most of tend to be fans of Eagle, and Hawke for obvious reasons." Sasha says as her units take over Kindle's HQ.

"Well I still have your DS so I can still take it and run." Kindle said as she was going to run with it but she gets blown up dropping the DS.

"Thanks guys couldn't have owned her without your help." Sasha said to the agents while picking up her DS.

"You're welcome even though we didn't get much of a speaking role in this part of the story." Spin said.

"Hey it's better than being tied up by aliens." J said trying to make an obvious plug to another one of the author's fanfics.

"So I guess we shall go now." Chieftain said as they decided to leave.

"Well, now to start playing my DS while I get back to Blue Moon Base." Sasha said.

End Ch. 27

"As you've seen this was a slight Elite Beat Agents parody, stay tuned for the next chapter."


	28. Closet Filled Goodness

Advance Wars Drabbles

By Hiro Konobu

Ch. 28: Closet Filled Goodness

"Now this chapter is quite interesting to a degree, and as always I only own my fanfics, everything else referenced is copyright their owners."

"Hey sis how are you doing?" Colin said walking in on his sis.

"Well I'm fine brother, just playing solitaire with some playing cards I won at a rundown arcade I was at the other day, besides my DS is out of power after beating it out of Kindle's hands...but the second part is another story." Sasha said as she continued to play solitaire.

"I was wondering where you were the other day..." Colin said.

"I went to that arcade, though I'm never going back to that place after seeing how many unnecessary crane game machines they had, the fact the wouldn't get rid of that stupid "18 wheeler" game but getting rid of Tekken 5 DR, and how poor their ITG/DDR machines were in terms of shape."

"Wow, those people their are retarded, or passing around the same stuff Konami was using while making the extra stage stepcharts on DDR Supernova." Colin said.

"Exactly, though I think the "Konami being high" joke was already used somewhere." Sasha said while continuing to play solitaire, and skipping to Orange Star for a bit.

"Achoo!...what a lame reference to the fact I haven't had one successful run in DDR yet." Nell said as we skip back to Sasha and Colin.

"Anyway, you got anything planned today sis?" Colin said.

"Not exactly, but tell Grit and Olaf to come to the rec room because I have a new game I want to teach them." Sasha said as she still plays her solitaire game.

"Right I'll go tell them, soon." Colin said as he still stayed in the room.

"...I meant right now Colin!" Sasha said with anger in her delivery.

"Okay..." Colin said as he ran out the room.

"Now back too my solitaire game that was somewhat interrupted." Sasha said as she got back to her solitaire game.

"Now where could Grit and Olaf be at?" Colin said while searching for them. unaware that a closed door housed the two.

"So, O Bearded One how did I let you talk me into to going into the closet with you." Grit said noting that the door was locked.

"Well you wanted to help me get some supplies didn't you?" Olaf said.

"Yeah, the door just closes and then it gets locked on us seems like a real bad plotline to use." Grit said with a sarcastic tone.

"Just be quiet Grit, we'll get out of here soon."

"How can you be sure about that O Bearded One?" Grit said.

"Because I have a generic phone that let's me call without getting an expensive plan!" Olaf said making Grit fall down anime style.

"What good would that do? Also why did you have to make that line unnecessarily long line of speech." Grit said.

"Well, as long as my minutes hold up we should be fine, as for the line, I did that on purpose." Olaf said making Grit facefault again, and thinking his almighty generic phone could get them out of this mess.

"Well O Bearded One, how many minutes are left on that phone?" Grit said.

"One minute..." Olaf said as both he and Grit sweatdropped.

"You know this better work O Bearded One." Grit said.

"I know what I'm doing, so I'll just call Colin, he's usually out at one of his many sweatshops." Olaf said making Grit sweatdrop.

"Why would he be out at one of his sweatshops, it's only 12:12 P.M. here, and he usually visits them at 1:47 P.M." Grit said.

"Well I was hoping he had gotten a day off from his Nazi-like duties as a sweatshop manager." Olaf said.

"Now what makes us think he's a Nazi?" Grit said as an image of Colin in Nazi gear and running a sweatshop come to mind.

"I honestly have no clue Grit." Olaf said as he was about to call Colin on his cell phone...but to no avail as he hears: _This is Colin speaking, if you are any person from Black Hole, IRS, KGB, CIA, or from the FBI you can BUGGER OFF! If you are not from the aforementioned parties please leave a message and I'll get right back to you._ "I guess Colin doesn't want his sweatshops to be found out." Olaf said as he turned his phone off.

"So what do you suppose we do now?" Grit said.

"Well we wait for someone to come in and help us." Olaf said.

"I told you not to get a generic phone..." Grit said.

"It's not my fault I wanted a cell phone without an expensive plan." Olaf said pouting, as we skip to Colin who's currently in the same area still looking for the two.

"I wonder where those two could've gone off to?" Colin said. "I mean it's not like they could travel worlds and can only say "Dude!" all of the time like this one character in a web comic." Colin said as he passed a room with some strange sounds in it. "Now what could be in this room?" Colin said as he opened the door to find..."Olaf, Grit what are you two doing here?" Colin said leaving the door unattended.

"Colin!" Olaf and Grit said also noting that the door was closing on them.

"What!" Colin said as he got surprised by Olaf and Grit's exclamation, well that and the door closed on the three.

"Nice job Colin now the door has closed on all of us due to your shock and surprise." Olaf said in a very angry tone.

"In that case how was I supposed to know you guys were in here?" Colin said trying to avoid Olaf's wrath.

"Well Colin did you have your phone on you?" Olaf said still very angry with Colin.

"Why, yes I did." Colin said making Olaf very angry at him.

"Then why didn't you pick it up!" Olaf said with an intent of hurting Colin incredibly hard.

"I didn't want to waste my minutes." As Colin said this sarcastically, Olaf punched him hard knocking Colin out for a bit, also Grit who didn't have any lines during this whole part sweatdrops.

"...Was that really necessary..." Grit said still in his sweatdropped state.

"Yes, he said it in a tone I didn't like, I am Blue Moon's leader after all and I shouldn't have to deal with that level of sarcasticness." Olaf said, as Grit sweatdrops again.

"Again, are long explanations really necessary to make your point?" Grit said.

"Yes, Grit it is necessary or the closet raper will get you." Olaf said.

"...So I reckon' were gonna wait for Colin sis' ain't we?" Grit said making Olaf sweatdrop.

"Why did you just speak like that?" Olaf said.

"Sorry the author tends to have a problem writing in character..." Grit said.

"...Anyway back to the matter at hand." Olaf said noticing that Colin was still knocked out.

"So when do you think Colin will be back up?" Grit said.

"I have no clue...but my guess is four hours." Grit said as four hours pass almost instantly.

"So do you think any one will notice that were missing?" Olaf says.

"Well I know my sis will know that were missing." Colin said as we skip to Sasha eating at some fancy french restaurant.

"This food is exquisite." Sasha said eating some food from the aforementioned place, as some waiter comes by with a bill.

"So how would you like to pay for your meal?" The waiter says in a fancy french accent.

"Put it on this." Sasha hands the waiter a credit card with Colin's name on it.

"Something tells me she isn't..." Grit said

"Why not she's my sis she has to care about me." Colin said.

"I don't think she would." Olaf said.

"What would make you think that?" Colin said as he gets knocked out by the door.

"This is Blue Moon!" Sasha said after "accidentily" hitting her brother with the door.

"Been watching that "300" movie Sasha?" Grit said.

"Yes I did, as well as having a fancy lunch at a french eating establishment, say where's my brother?" Sasha said looking for him.

"We have no clue let's just get out of this closet before it locks again." Olaf said as he and Grit got out of the closet.

"Locks again?" Sasha said confused.

"We will explain it later." Grit said as the three exited the closet, but without Colin, and then we skip about an hour after where Colin is still in the closet.

"Hey where did everyone go!" Colin said in a frustrated mood.

"Knock-knock." The voice said.

"Who's there?" Colin said.

"Closet raper!" The voice said in a position to well...you know, but for the sake of fanfic rating I'll just end it here.

End Ch. 28

"Finally got a chapter of this collection done...college classes have really kept me busy, as for the arcade joke it's sorta in-jokey, and by the way see you all next chapter. "


	29. The Pokeman Special

Advance Wars Drabbles  
By Hiro Konobu  
Ch. 29: The "Pokeman" Special

"As you can see due to the new pokemon Diamond and Pearl games that came out I thought why not make a chapter of the Advance Wars Drabbles in honor of it, and as always I only own my fanfics, and yes the chapter is spelled like that on purpose."

(We start by seeing two of the Black Hole guys playing said game mentioned in the title.)

"Finally some off time after dealing with those allied nations "

"Say Flak you don't mind me trading my Lopunny for your Glameow do you?" Adder said playing a game on his DS.

"Sure I don't mind at all, besides I don't have one anyway, say while were at it do you have any spare starters I can trade you for?" Flak said.

"No I don't, I only have a male Grotle, besides I was so enamored with the game I forgot to check the gender of my starter pokemon." Adder said sulking.

"Well then no female Chimchar for you." Flak said.

"What does not having a female starter have to do this?"

"I have no clue, though I was thinking of the Soup Nazi from that old Seinfield show." Flak said while possibly confusing the readers.

"...How does Seinfield fit into this bit anyway?" Adder said.

"I really don't know." Flak said while both he and Adder sweatdropped.

"Anyway let's get this trade started." Adder said as he and Flak did some trading.

"Say Adder you forgot to say what skill this Lopunny had." Flak said as Adder began to laugh. "...Also why are you laughing Adder?" Flak said.

"Because that Lopunny had the klutz skill, and to those people who aren't familiar with the skill, it means you can't use held items." Adder said after laughing.

"Well how was I supposed to know it had that crappy skill?" Flak said frustrated.

"For one thing you didn't ask me before the trade on what skill it had because they can either have cute charm or the skill I just mentioned." Adder said

"How would you know that?" Flak said still in his frustrated mood.

"Well I looked it up online on a web site which will remain nameless." Adder said, as he laughed.

"...Flak smash Adder!" Flak said in a very angry tone, though as he was chasing Adder around the room Lash came in.

"What in the name of Nell's lucky dice is going on here?" Lash said while watching Adder get strangled by Flak after the trade mentioned earlier.

"Adder gave me a Lopunny with Klutz attached to it!" Flak said while still choking Adder.

"Lash, help..." Adder said while Flak was choking the life out of him,as this was happening Lash sighs.

"Look Flak do you have the Skill Swap TM on your game?" Lash said.

"Yes I do." Flak said letting go of Adder.

"Thank you great ice cream salesman for letting me have sweet air." Adder said as he was released from the aforementioned choking.

"Well simply put you could just put it on your newly acquired Lopunny."

"Why would I want to do that, especially when, wait I get where you're going with this." Flak said noticing Lash's plan.

"Yes, see due to that Lopunny's Klutz it can't use held items, but with the earlier mentioned skill swap attack you can get rid of the horrible skill, for the time being." Lash said.

"Sweet and glorious for you air!" Yes, Adder is still rambling about his precious air.

"I sware some girl named "Marisa" need to steal Adder's precious thing. Anyway what were we talking about again?" Lash said annoyed at Adder continuing to worship the air.

"I think it was about how we can get your Lopunny into battle condition despite being hindered by having the Klutz skill."

"Ok, just give me some time and I'll put the skill swap on your Lopunny ok." Lash said as she began to exit the room.

"Yeah, anything else I can do while I'm waiting?" Flak said as Lash turned around to face him.

"Yes, you can stop Adder from babbling about his impromptu obsession with air." Lash as she got out of the room with Flak's DS.

(Around seven minutes later Lash comes back into the room, however it's to an unpleasant sight to her at least.)

"Hi Lash I told you I'd stop Adder's incoherent babbling." Flak said with Adder lying down on the ground, apparently beaten up.

"When I told you to take care of Adder I didn't mean it in that way!" Lash said obviously angry at what Flak did.

"Well you did tell me to stop Adder from his air talking so I just thought I'd knock him out." Flak said.

"Nevermind, I'll just wake up Adder..." Lash goes over to Adder, and pokes him. "Hey Adder wake up." As Lash says this no response is given from the still knocked out Adder. "Well...WAKE UP!!!" Now a response is heard from the surprised Adder.

"Lash! What in the name of Andy's wrenches was that for?!" Adder said.

"Nothing at all." Lash said while grinning an eerily cute smile.

"In that case why did you wake me up for no reason whatsoever?" Adder said.

"Well Flak wanted to challenge you to a 1 v 1 match on his pokemon game."

"Oh, now that makes sense." Adder said as he took out his DS which was somehow still on after all of these mishaps.

"So you choose your two and I'll choose my two pokemon ok." Flak said as Adder nods, and after about a minute of preparation both of them were ready to battle.

"For my first and only pokemon I'll send out Lopunny." Flak said as his pokemon appeared on the screen.

"I knew that you were going to do something like so I'll send out the Glameow you gave me." Adder said as his Glameow appeared.

"Exactly that's why I use the attack skill swap, to get your skill while you get mine." Flak said surprising Adder.

"...What's a skill swap?" Adder said imitating Andy in a way.

"You know Andy is going to sue you for using that quote like that, and as for the skill swap you seeing as that Glameow had the Own Tempo skill, I guess your Glameow can get confused now." Flak said.

"Shoot...well I'll just attack you with an assist attack..." Adder said, as what came out was a confuse ray, and due to the previous move the confuse ray didn't work. (A/N: To all those who don't know what that is, it's basically a random attack from any other pokemon in your party.)

"Well that's honestly bad luck right there isn't it Adder?" Flak said.

"Yeah it is, but I took great lengths to prevent you from using Lopunny's fighting type attacks since it had none." Adder said.

"Why would you give me one with no fighting skills..." Flak said.

"Well I am a snake after all, and most people perceive you to be perfectly stupid." Adder said snickering, though Lash cuts in.

"If I may say something, while I was giving Flak's Lopunny the skill swap attack I noticed it had no fighting type attacks, so I used one of Flak's heart scales he had in the game and gave it the jump kick attack." Lash said as Adder got angry.

"Way to over analyze the situation Lash..." Adder said.

"You're welcome Adder, so Flak..."OHKO" him now!" Lash said as Flak used said jump kick on the normal-type Glameow knocking it out in one hit.

"Adder I hope this teaches you stuff like this only works on Orange Star, or Andy." Flak said...as Adder jumped him, as the two started fighting Lash just exits the room.

"Well...that was interesting, time for me to let my Rapidash participate in a contest on my pokemon game."

End Ch. 29

"Well...I got my creative mood back, then again maybe that was positive energy from finally beating "Elite Beat Agents" on this day...As for the Marisa joke it's a song, and the OHKO statement is short for One Hit KO, anyway please review."


	30. Sasha's and Jake's Arcade Trip

Advance Mew Mew

Ch. 30: Sasha's and Jake's Arcade Trip

By Hiro Konobu

"Now in this chapter takes some liberties in poking fun at how the author's local arcade is run...mostly, and also meant to supplement a joke made by Sasha in ch. 28, and as always I only own my fanfics."

"So Sasha why are we visiting your local arcade again?" A confused Jake said.

"Well I've gotten some time off, so I thought why not invite a good friend to the local arcade, besides playing against the computer is so boring." Sasha said as she and Jake were riding in a Blue Moon recon to said arcade.

"Yeah, and I forget that sometimes the computer likes to be cheap too I still remember that time I went to Japan..." Jake said as he remembers a time where, well I think you know where this joke is going towards...

"Well, Tecmo I have your building under hostage, and you might be asking what I'm doing with a huge amount of bombs, that I "borrowed" from no one in particular." Jake said as Lash sneezes off screen.

"Hold on, are you mad that we wont make another "Tecmo Bowl" game?" One of the representatives said.

"No! I'm angry because you made a boss that suffers from..."SNK boss syndrome" and by that I mean Alpha-152 is very cheap! In fact when I was done here I was also going to hold up Namco for making Jinpachi." Jake said.

"Before we do the obligatory demand, and/or attempt to get you off the building thing, were you also mad at Tecmo for Ninja Gaiden?" One of the police officers said.

"No, you made an easier version of the game called Ninja Gaiden Black so I can't hold you accountable for that." Jake said.

"Now what are your demands?" The same police officer said.

"First off do not make a boss as cheap as Alpha-152 again! Secondly, I want the right to kick all of Team Ninja's staff members in the family jewels...and maybe that Itegaki guy too..." Jake said as he rambled on...

"Quick! While he's rambling shoot him." The same police officer said to a sniper...who was nowhere in visible view.

"Got ya!" The sniper said as he misses his target and hits one of the black bombs.

"Crap..." Jake said as he noticed one of the black bombs was about to go off and does so, and he get's blown up with the building...

"Hold it, if that story was true how could you have still been in one piece?" Sasha said.

"Well due to the explosion I was actually sent back to Orange Star, due to the force of the blow...though I landed in a cemetery, and was out for one week." Jake said.

"Oh come on now I know that story is fake, besides it's more or less a reference to Tekken 5..." Sasha said.

"Okay, but who knows it still might be true." Jake said, as Sasha rolled her eyes.

"As for the games though, I really hope they don't do something stupid, for instance replace a good game with some stupid trucking game or something as equally as stupid." Sasha said as the two stopped the car in the arcades parking lot...though there seemed to be a scene at the arcade when the two popped up.

"Say what's with the crowd over there?" Jake said as a bunch of people seemed to have appeared.

"I have no clue...wait I think that could be it." Sasha said reading a sign that says under new management.

"So maybe that has to relate with the new management?" Jake said as he Sasha went to crowd...only to find two familiar faces, who haven't popped up in this fanfic series in a long time.

"Mike, and Carlos!?" Sasha said surprised.

"I thought you two were still at Orange Star HQ." Jake said.

"Well, when Nell acts extremely emo about the fact she can't have a successful DDR run..." Mike said as he was interrupted by his friend.

"...Then it's time to get out of dodge." Carlos said as he got bopped on the head by Mike.

"Don't finish my sentences Carlos." Mike said.

"So...what's with the crowd?" Sasha said.

"Well, they have a new game they want to show, and apparently a lot of people caught on." Mike said.

"So what is the new game exactly?" Jake said as the doors open only to find some sort of weird trucking game.

"Well it's 18 wheeler of course, the finest game in the southern Orange Star area, and we needed to get this game was..." The owner said before he got interrupted.

"First off who are you and why do we have some space taking trucking game in our arcade?" Carlos said.

"Well, since people like it where I come from, I thought you'd like it..." The owner said as he was trying to get his second statement out but was interrupted again.

"Secondly what's your name..." Sasha said.

"Well it's Jack Rimshaw, now..." Jack said as he was interrupted yet again.

"So what was it about the game you got?" Jake said.

"Well in order to get it I had to get rid of your silly Tekken 5 DR machine, besides I don't like fighting games." Jack said...as he apparently got Jake, Sasha, Mike, and Carlos angry.

"What in the name of actual games did you do that for!" Jake said as Jack tried to run but...

"Yeah how retarded are you to do something like that!" Sasha said as Jack met up with both Mike and Carlos who were also angry...

"You're a mean person to get rid of a game that gets you repeat customers." Mike said.

"Yeah just like the person at the author's "Lame Zone" arcade, in fact if you had to replace it you could've gotten Crazy Taxi, Last Bronx, Fighting Vipers or better yet Virtua Fighter!" Carlos said.

"What the, how am I even supposed to get what that meant?" Jack said confused.

"Well what do you have to..." Sasha said before Jake stopped her.

"Sasha not right now you can go on a nutty rampage on that Jack dude later, Carlos has apparently seen to that." Jake said as Carlos was beating up the guy with Mike trying to restrain him as Jake also directed Sasha to a DDR machine.

"Your right, let's just play some DDR." Sasha said as she was trying not to feel bummed out about the loss of an actual game, while walking to said DDR machine.

"So Sasha any particular song you want to do?" Jake said putting in his quarters in the machine.

"How about Scorching Moon?" Sasha said as she put in her quarters in the machine.

"You know, I still don't get why Konami just had to take one on their fanbase..." Jake said, all the while keeping the fanfics rating intact.

"Well Konami only cares about four things: one beginner players who don't play the series as much, two getting crappy licensed songs when their in-house music artists can do so much better, three they want the money, and four they don't care about your PA...so that's why they sued the people who made In The Groove..." Sasha said as she picked the Scorching Moon song...however as the two played said song they noticed something was a miss with the machine literally as they had failed the song because of the sensors...

"What in the name of Orange Star are wrong with the sensors?!" Jake said angry.

"Something tells me that Jack Rimshaw guy is responsible for this..." Sasha said as she and Jake decided to have a "talk" with the aforementioned guy who apparently suffered a black eye from the anger of Carlos.

"What do ya'll two want?" Jack said.

"We want an explanation now!" Sasha said.

"What for?" Jack said...thinking he didn't need an explanation.

"Why are the sensors on the DDR Supernova machine non-existent!" Jake said.

"Well I sold them..." Jack said.

"How in the bloody..." Sasha said before Jake held her back a little.

"Rating..." Jake said subtlety.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that." Sasha said sweatdropping.

"Oh yeah I also sold the In The Groove machine for lots of crane games and a neat two dollar ripoff roller coaster simulator machine." Jack said as Sasha and Jake punched him out.

"JERK!!!!" Both Jake and Sasha said in unison while punching Jack's light's out, and also walking out of the arcade.

"So Sasha you have anything planned for that arcade? because I could..." Jake said as Sasha somehow blew up the building surprising Jake.

"No need for that." Sasha said grinning holding a detonator in her hand.

"...And you call me for ripping off Tekken 5...wait where's Mike and Carlos?" Jake said.

"We were just watching the fireworks." Mike said.

"Also before you ask why were out here, after I gave Jack a black eye we decided to go out of the arcade speaking of which it's 9:00 o'clock so no one is in there right?" Carlos said.

"Not that we know of." Jake said, though somehow Kindle is flying by with her hair on fire.

End Ch. 30

"Hope you enjoyed the arcade satire and references to the home version of Tekken 5...anyway give me a review. "

PA Perfect Attack.


	31. Nell's Extra Stage

Advance Wars Drabbles  
Ch. 31: Nell's Extra Stage  
By Hiro Konobu

"Now you may be wondering why this chapter took so long...I was trying to figure out how to deal with this Nell and DDR chapter, well you might be surprised at the end result of this fanfic, and as always I only on my fanfics."

(Story starts with Nell talking to Mike and Carlos, also it seems Nell's holding a newspaper related to the events of last chapter.)

"So you really did blow up that place in Blue Moon?" Nell said seemingly annoyed.

"No we just gave the guy who was running the place a black eye." Carlos said.

"Yeah, besides Sasha was the one who blew up the place even if she made a reference to Tekken 5." Mike said.

"Well, it just doesn't give you the right to go around and blow up random arcades." Nell said as Mike raised his hand to say something else.

"We had no choice that guy was going to get rid of anything of value, besides that Jack guy was 80 years old and he probably was going to kick the bucket..." Mike said before getting interrupted.

"Mike!" Carlos and Nell said.

"Sorry." Mike said.

"Yeah, it just isn't right to say something like that to a person like that, even if said person is a retard, and old." Nell said.

"True, I was just mad because he had gotten rid of the In The Groove machine and the Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection machine." Mike said quickly making Nell forget her last statement.

"Scratch my last statement that guy is a senile old..." As you can guess Nell was about to say a certain word...

"Nell remember the rating of this fanfic." Carlos said.

"Oh, sorry I kind of lost it when Mike mentioned that two perfectly good games were gone." Nell said. sweatdropping, though some figures pop up near the base.

"So are you ready?" The first figure said.

"I'm ready, speaking of which what was our goal again?" The second figure said.

"Well as far as I can remember, it was steal as many of Orange Star's arcade machines as possible, especially the ones that are played constantly." The first figure said.

"Yeah, I hope our employer will reward us with an arcade machine of our own." The second figure said.

"I doubt it she looked like she wanted to destroy those machines...or build a rival arcade out of the machines we steal later tonight." The first figure said.

"True but why are we stealing them later tonight? Wouldn't it just be easier to steal them in broad daylight." The second figure said as he got hit upside the head by his partner.

"...I wonder why you even thought that, sure a broad daylight stealing is possible but takes a lot of time and planning, in which we don't have." The first figure said sighing.

"Or you took too long even setting this up because you playing with your poke..." The second figure said as he got hit upside the head by his partner again but with a paper fan.

"No were not going to go that low for a gag." The first figure said hitting his partner with a paper fan.

"Ok, but I heard that you like..." The second figure said as he gets hit into the sky.

"No attempt at 4chan-ish pokemon reference!" The first figure said hitting his partner into then sky with a baseball bat.

"...Mudkips." The second figure said as he gets shot by his partner.

"I hate that quote!" The first figure said, though we skip back to Orange Star a few hours later where Nell and Andy are closing down said rec room for the night.

"So Nell did you get any time in playing DDR?" Andy said cleaning up said room.

"Not at all, I had too much work to do today, after all being the commander of Orange Star takes a lot of time and energy out of you, had to deal with some basic day to day stuff." Nell said also cleaning up the room.

"So what you mean by day to day is pushing your luck...to the max!" Andy said confusing Nell.

"Andy...have you been consuming too much sugar again?" Nell said.

"No, I just couldn't think of anything to say." Andy said.

"Well I guess it is typical for it as were stuck in a badly written drabble series." Mike said.

"What?" Everyone but Mike said.

"Nothing." Mike said.

"So any reason why were have to help you clean up this place?" Carlos said.

"Well...all of the janitors who work here had the day off today." Nell said.

"So that's how we ended be short-order janitors for your rec room?" Mike said.

"Well Nell did promise that she'd give me deep fried candy bars, which are also good with raspberry jelly." Andy said making everyone sweatdrop.

"...So how did you get us two to help you anyway?" Carlos said.

"Well the incident in the last chapter caused it, because if you didn't want to help me I could blackmail you." Nell said.

"So where's Sasha and Jake then?" Mike said grin.

"Well...er...ah...I couldn't find them." Nell said sweatdropping as a figure crashed through the building.

"What in the name of Kanbei's lucky sock obsession was that?" Mike said.

"It's-a-me..." The second figure said before getting stomped on by the first figure.

"Your not Mario!" The first figure said while stomping on him.

"Uh...who are you people anyway?" Andy said as the first figure clears his throat.

"To protect the arcade world from..." The first figure said.

"Look we already know where that joke is going, besides it's so two chapters ago." Carlos said.

"Okay, well my name is Jim and, and the other dude here is Johnson." Jim said.

"Well ok Jim and Johnson why are you here anyway?" Nell said.

"Well were here to take your machines of course." Johnson said.

"Well if you want our machines..." Mike started to say something until Andy interjects the statement.

"...You'll have to battle Nell in a best out of three match on our DDR Extreme machine!" Andy said making everyone sweatdrop.

"Andy you really try your hardest to annoy me don't you?" Nell said as she sighed.

"Why yes I do, besides I know you can do it Nell." Andy said holding his thumb up once again making Nell sweatdrop.

"Wait, why aren't we doing the battle on a Supernova machine?" Johnson said actually earning him a slap from Jim.

"Fool, anyone who plays DDR/ITG regularly would know that "Stupidnova" was completely horrible." Jim said.

"...Would anyone really get that reference?" Mike said.

"Not exactly, most people just hate that game." Jim said.

"You know what after this little game is done anyone want to join me on a drive-by on a certain groups decision on influential games." Carlos said getting mostly ignored...for now, also we see Nell and Johnson getting ready to play their first song.

"Ladies choose first." Johnson said as Nell scoffs at his remark.

"Ok then, what do you choose?" Nell said, as Johnson picked the first song which was Let's Groove, though...

"You do know that Nell called you a lady in a very subtle way, and you fell for that hook, line, and sinker." Jim said, as everyone in the surrounding are were snickering at this.

"...Shut up." Johnson said in a cold tone as the song begin, and since I don't have the skill to actually make DDR song scenes let's just say that Johnson won this song...

"You know you only won because of Jim's distraction." Nell said apparently being cheated out of the first song.

"What distraction?" Jim said, holding what appears to be a feathery fan.

"Andy come here for a quick second." Nell said as Andy came over to where Nell is at.

"Yes, boss lady?" Andy said making Nell sweatdrop again.

"I have a plan to deal with that person in next round after I pick my song you..." Nell said as she whispered some stuff to Andy.

"So are you done whispering sweet nothings in your lover's ear?" Johnson said...making Nell punch him hard.

"Why would I be in love with an idiot like Andy!" Nell said getting angry and then choosing Burning Heat for her song as Johnson got back almost surprised that song had started they both played their song, though while playing Andy blatantly distracted Johnson by blocking his screen, as a result Nell won this round.

"That wasn't fair!" Johnson said.

"Well turnabout is fair play, especially when you have a step ladder and someone as annoying as Andy." Nell said as Andy was currently staring off into space.

"Andy did you hear what Nell called you?" Mike said as he nudged Andy.

"Nope not at all." Andy said.

"Airhead..." Carlos said under his breath.

"So what's our final song loser." Nell said.

"It's going to be...Max 300!" Johnson said shocking everyone.

"But Johnson you can't even pass said song...you know what happens if you both lose, since you chose the song you'd lose the song." Jim said.

"I know but I'm hoping Nell fails first so she can auto lose." Johnson said.

"...Well go ahead and lose..." Jim said, obviously at a loss of words here.

"So Nell can we expect another incident with those "Max" songs?" Andy said.

"No I've been practicing, so I'm sure nothing will happen." Nell said.

"Oh, really?" Carlos said.

"Yeah, really." Nell said.

"No way!" Mike said.

"You know that joke is old...and unfunny." Nell said.

"It is." Nell said as she and Johnson got ready to play Max 300, though as the got about thirty seconds into the song Nell fails the song...however eleven seconds into song Johnson fails the song...though he was laughing when he found out...that might be why.

"Well I win, so give up the machines." Johnson said.

"We still wont." Nell said.

"Why not..." Johnson said as Jim came up to him and said something.

"Well technically you lost since you were the one who chose the song you lose since you both failed it." Jim said.

"Well, doesn't that suck." Jim said.

"Ha! That means we keep the machines for now." Carlos said laughing.

"True, try again next time when you feel like losing some more." Mike said also in the laughing mood.

"So what now?" Andy said.

"Me and my associate will leave...for now." Jim said as he and Johnson left the area.

"You know what Nell?" Andy said.

"What?" Nell said.

"You forgot to add in the fact that you still can't get in a successful game of DDR in." Andy said.

"Nah, I still won so it doesn't matter that I couldn't get a full set in." Nell said.

"Well does this mean that your luck has finally run out?" Andy said in a very sarcastic tone earning him a chase scene from Nell.

"What did you say about my luck!" Nell said as she chased Andy in the same room.

"So Mike want to get the popcorn?" Carlos said.

"Sure." Mike said.

End Ch. 31

"Well here's another chapter...sorry it took so long...and to make up for it here's a PSA."

"Hello everyone and welcome to the PSA channel I'm your host Mikana Sanezin." Mikana said opening up seemingly in a hyper mood.

"Oh hello my name is...Colin Greene." Colin said a bit shy.

"And that is my partner Colin. So what's today subject?" Mikana said still in her hyper mood.

"Well I was looking up fanfics on a certain site...and for some reason I looked up some fanfiction for the awful "Battle Arena Toshinden" game series." Colin said immediately earning him a slap from Mikana.

"How dare you read fanfics off of a horrible video game series." Mikana said going from overly cute to an angry sarcastic parody of a certain anime.

"Sorry...I wanted to also state something you should never do as in follow this person's example."

"What do you mean Colin." Mikana said absolutely dry.

"Well due to fact...that the series I was talking about...is full of epic fail..." Colin said trembling.

"Get to the point!" Mikana said really making Colin tremble.

"Ah! Ok! Truth of the matter is this author known as "great T" is posting bad Gary-Stu fanfics...one chapter at a time." Colin said.

"So that isn't a problem..." Mikana said seemingly cooled down.

"Well, when the fics are consistently bad, and posted as single fics for a couple of years..." Colin said.

"What!" Mikana said looking like a demon of some kind.

"It's the truth." Colin said trembling in fear.

"What kind of person thinks he can get away that kind of stuff!?" Mikana said still in her rant of rage. "Everyone, who is reading this, when PSA Channel is complete you go to the "Battle Arena Toshinden" section and tell him about his folly...oh looks like were out of time on behalf of myself and Colin..." Mikana said.

"Bye, bye." Mikana and Colin said in sync as a banner of the PSA Channel came up.

"So is that really the truth?" Mikana said.

"I'm afraid so." Colin said.

End PSA Channel.

"Now remember Read+Review, and don't be a "great T" person."


	32. The Obligatory Insert Game Joke Chapter

Advance Wars Drabbles  
By Hiro Konobu  
Ch. 32: The Obligatory Insert Game Joke Chapter.

"Judging by the subject matter, I think most of would know what's probably gonna happen in the chapter, anyway I only own my fanfics."

(We start by seeing Nell briefing her troops)

"So do all of you know what you have to do on this mission?" Nell said.

"Not exactly could you repeat it for us." Andy said.

"See your mission is to go back in time to 1994...er...1995 and stop this game called Battle Arena Toshinden from ever being made." Nell said.

"Now how are we supposed to go back in time it's not like we have a time machine that would give the ability to go back in time to do so, also wasn't this abomination of game joked around about in the last chapter?" Jake said.

"Anyway...remember that time Mike and Carlos stole that "DDR Supernova" machine, well..." Nell said as she was abruptly stopped by Rachel.

"Speaking of which how are we even going to destroy the "Battle Arena Toshinden" game series, because Takara pretty much done that to themselves and their company..." Rachel said making everyone sweatdrop. "I had to deal with that abomination of a game with a gaming tone-def friend..." Rachel said.

"Okay...anyway as I was saying aside from that machine being stolen, those two also stole a time machine, which was also conveniently placed in some storage room near Yellow Comet's rec room." Nell said.

"Wait how did you even get that sort of thing, from Yellow Comet no less...Sonja isn't the type to do stuff like that." Max said.

"Well originally Lash had wanted to use it so she could make sure Sonja was never born..." Nell said.

"So what happened?" Max said.

"It backfired on Lash, it actually sent her to the future, and if you're wondering how she got back she just built another one, that sent her back, though some Yellow Comet troops made sure she couldn't use it again, and that's an explanation for another day." Nell said.

"Ahh, now that's confusing..." Jake said scratching his head.

"What was it about that time machine, Lash, trains and burgers again?" Andy said.

"Andy...Look all of you just make sure "Battle Arena Toshinden" was never made, and also make sure "Soul Blade" was the first 3D weapons fighter." Nell said.

"Wait, wasn't that game called "Soul Edge"?" Max said confused.

"Well that was the arcade version it got a different name when it went to consoles." Rachel said.

"Ahh...that makes it much clearer." Max said.

"Hold It! I'm afraid I can't go." Jake said all of sudden remembering something.

"Why not?" Nell said.

"Well I have a reservation for "Halo 3" So I can't participate in the much needed destruction of Battle Arena Toshinden." Jake said.

"Sorry but..." Nell said before Max interrupted Nell.

"Oh yeah come to think of it me and Andy have a reservation of "Halo 3" as well." Max said.

"Yeah we do." Andy said.

"...Anyone else have a reservation for this "Halo 3" game?" Nell said as Rachel raised her hand.

"I do as well." Sami said as she finally entered the room shocking Nell as her back was turned while sighing about the "Halo 3" issue.

"Sami when did you get here?" Nell said still in shock.

"Well just now, I was busy reserving my copy of "Halo 3" online." Sami said.

"Ah, so I guess that we will be fragging you online." Jake said laughing.

"Your wrong, I'll be the one fragging you." Sami said laughing.

"Um excuse me..." Nell said being ignored.

"No you're both wrong, I'll frag you both six ways to Sunday." Max said grinning while also looking down at Sami, and Jake.

"Excuse..." Nell said still being ignored.

"It'll be fun blowing all of you up and finding a cool sword that makes you immune to the effects of time." Andy said making Rachel sweatdrop, as the other people in the room were occupied with something else.

"Andy, that's "Red vs Blue", besides I doubt you'll even get any frags because of your stupidity, in fact..." Rachel said.

"Everyone listen to me right now before I don't let anyone get that "Halo 3" game!" Nell said making everyone in the room shut up.

"Okay, and yes, mam!" Everyone said as they got shocked.

"Excellent, now get to the time machine!" Nell said still on her yelling high, as everyone left the room for the time machine Nell had something else to think about. Silly fools I sent them on this silly time machine chase so they wouldn't get "Halo 3" before me. Nell laughs as she exits through another door, to a garage that has a recon in it with some paintball residue on it...now we skip back to the rest of the gang talking.

"You know I really hope this mission isn't a ploy to make sure we don't get "Halo 3" before us..." Jake said.

"Yeah, though some part of me thinks that this mission was an attempt to steer us away from getting that game before her." Sami said.

"My sister has that habit of doing stuff like that before a game or a new console comes out, though I'm actually glad she tricked me during the time that a certain console came out...my sis said she almost got shot at while apparently looking for said console to sell on the Internet." Nell said.

"You know I'd be glad to be tricked like that if I was getting shot at for just a game." Max said.

"True, though Andy would just go regardless." Rachel said as everyone started to laugh, Andy did so as well till he noticed.

"Wait, what?" Andy said breaking his laugh.

"Nothing." Rachel said

"Anyway, we've reached the time machine." Sami said as the group reaches the time machine.

"Hang on a minute." Jake said.

"What is it Jake?" Rachel said.

"What if Nell did this as a plan to make sure we don't get "Halo 3" before her." Jake said.

"Say what makes you think of that Jake?" Sami said.

"No clue, I was just thinking of t-b..." Jake said before Rachel stopped him for good reason.

"Jake...think of the children, besides I knew what you were going to say..." Rachel said.

"Let's just get the mission done ok, and then we will do that." Max said as they all board the time machine...and do their mission we skip to Nell waiting outside a building for a copy of said game that we've mentioned so much in this chapter already.

"When are they gonna start selling those copies?" Nell said waiting outside, as all of a sudden Nell sees Andy, Max, Jake, Rachel, and Sami with copies of the game. "Wait how did you get those copies quicker than me?" Nell said shocked.

"Remember that time machine..." Jake said.

"Yes, I do." Nell said.

"Well we used it to go forward to a day before the release, and on a side note we got rid of the people for that other insignificant game, also don't say anything about time paradoxes either because were all going to enjoy "Halo 3" now so goodbye for now sis." Rachel said.

"...Well...crap." Nell said.

"By the way don't think I don't know about you stealing my recon...I saw it parked out there" Jake said.

"...Well...double crap." Nell said as all she could do was continue to wait for her copy of Halo 3.

End Ch. 32

"Well someone had to do this, so to speak."


	33. Team 3D Assaination Plot

Advance Wars Drabbles  
By Hiro Konobu  
Ch. 33: Team 3D Assaination Plot

"Yeah, I kinda promised myself that I wouldn't do another one of these but, then again when you get angry at certain things or other wrestlers in this case...and as always I only own my fanfics"

(Yes we start off again at Yellow Comet where Kanbei is, yes watching wrestling again, but of a different brand.)

"Stupid Team 3D!" Kanbei said as he yelled at the TV.

"Father will you please be quiet not all of us have a rampant obsession with wrestling." Sonja said sighing working on something.

"What about your infamous hidden like that was mentioned a while back." Kanbei said.

"...You know nothing!" Sonja said taken back by what Kanbei said.

"I do, for I check your room on occasion for that and...socks!" Kanbei said creeping out Sonja.

"Father you need help if you're going into my room for socks." Sonja said.

"No I don't..." Kanbei said.

"Yes you do..." Sonja said.

"No I don't." Kanbei said.

"Yes you do." Sonja said as Grimm and Sensei came in the room sweatdropping as they noticed.

"...Um Kanbei?" Sensei said as Kanbei and Sonja were still arguing over ther sock issue apparently not listening to him.

"Sensei you have to do it like this...Kanbei! Sonja!" Grimm said and it was so loud...

"Spaceman!" ...Yeah we went there, anyway back to Kanbei and the group.

"So Grimm was a loud reference setup to a certain first person shooter really necesary?" Kanbei said as he Sensei and Sonja were rubbing there ears due to Grimm's outburst.

"Why yes it was." Grimm said...as we skip to a few minutes later where everyone has recovered from the yelling.

"So what was it that you wanted to say Grimm?" Sonja said.

"Well I think Kanbei should pay close attention to this." Grimm said.

"Why should he?" Sonja said still a bit angry at Grimm.

"It's wrestling related." Grimm said.

"What happen?" Kanbei said with the wrong pronouciaton on purpose.

"Someone set us up the bomb...Kanbei! Don't confuse me like that." Sonja said.

"What? I thought I could set up for an "All Your Base" line spoof, anyway what did you mean by your earlier statement."

"Right as it relates to wrestling well Team 3D interrupted a special fight with this guy named El Blaze to not only beat him up but kidnap him...literally" Grimm said in a panic.

"...Literally?" Kanbei said.

"Yep..." Sensei said.

"...Let me guess those guys are just jealous because, they have passed their prime, and now want to take out smaller and more talented wrestlers...in some cases." Kanbei said.

"For certain reasons I wont mention the some case..." Sensei said.

"So, who's with me?" Kanbei said trying to rally his troops together but...

"Were out." Sensei and Grimm said.

"How come?" Kanbei said as he seemed shocked.

"Well, Hachi and Javier invited us to play poker, and after the events from last time were not getting chased by some no talent wrestler hack." Sensei said.

"True, you got me there, Sonja?" As Kanbei said this Sonja was nowhere to be found. "Oh well she's probably watching videos of that wrestler she likes..." Kanbei said as see Sonja actually doing so, as go back to Kanbei preparing for the rescue of El Blaze.

"Let's see K-SMG's check, LX-18's check, my favorite Katana, check, Tactical 12-Gauge, check, and of course some Skip and Lucky sandwiches, and I'm ready to go." Kanbei said obviously making some more obscurish references here.

"Sir do you think all of that stuff will be necesary?" A random Yellow Comet soldier said.

"Yes it is." Kanbei said.

"Well why do you need those sandwiches then?" The random Yellow Comet said.

"Well to give me some food for the long trip and recover my PP." Kanbei said smiling.

"You know this isn't "Earthbound" Kanbei." The random Yellow Comet soldier said.

"Yeah, wait how do you know of this awesome game?" Kanbei said confused.

"Emulation." The random Yellow Comet soldier said grinning.

"Forget I asked, talking about that stuff is bound to get you in trouble, anyway is my B-Copter ready?" Kanbei said.

"Why yes it is." The random Yellow Comet soldier said showing him the B-Copter.

"So just you today, pretty much, I had nothing else to do today."

"Uh, huh, so this has nothing to do with the fact your going to kill some wrestlers again."

"How did you know..." Kanbei said in shock.

"I heard the yelling, nuff said." The random Yellow Comet soldier said.

"Okay you got me there." Kanbei said as he got into his B-Copter and left.

"Well...now off to rescue El Blaze myself." Kanbei said as we skip to an obligatory abandoned warehouse it should be noted that it's currently morning here.

"Wake up shrimp." The first guy said as he splashed some water on him.

"Ah! What was that for?" The guy in the seat said.

"You know what that was for." The second guy said.

"No I do not." The guy in the seat said.

"Yes you do, El Blaze!" The first guy said.

"Yeah, taking the spotlight from actual wrestlers like us Team 3D, besides we hate shrimp...and the X division." The second guy said.

"And we also like chocolate snacks and chocolate drinks." The first guy said.

"So let me guess the famed Team 3D has stooped so low as to kidnapping someone who was invited to fight in your brand just for one match."

"Yep, so you should already know our names isn't that right D-von." The first guy said.

"Yeah testify my brother Bubba." D-Von said.

"...That...was...awful." El Blaze said sighing as some knocking was heard.

"Hold it right there you untalented pieces." Kanbei said holding an LX-18 in one hand and a Skip sandwich in the other. "Also I kind of got hungry while I was coming here hope you don't mind." Kanbei said, as El Blaze sighs again.

"Food!" Bubba said.

"Cholesterol!" D- Von said.

"Ahh!" Kanbei said as he ate his sandwich before getting jumped on.

"...Idiots..." El Blaze said as they all stopped after the sandwich fight.

"Were not..."

"Look can't we just settle this a different way, because this scene is starting to drag on too long, and it's also getting boring especially to those who don't watch wrestling regularly." El Blaze said.

"True, even though we did get away with this in ch. 17, so how about this a tag match..." Kanbei said as he got interrupted.

"Wait you can't, you aren't hired in our league and that will take months..." Bubba said.

"Not exactly when your company asked me to do a guest fight/exhibition match they said if I get told to have a tag match with someone I get to bring in someone else from the outside if I want to, and is this case the person you tried ganging up on is going to be my partner for tonight." El Blaze said shocking everyone including Kanbei.

"Well it's going to be a tables match regardless Buh-bye." Devon said as he and his partner left the area.

"Wait, I can wrestle to...some degree but it's mostly fannish." Kanbei said.

"Don't worry about most heavyweights are untalented slobs." El Blaze said laughing.

"...Right, so what about my fight?" Kanbei said sweatdropping.

"Sorry, anyway nothing too much else is needed, except a gimmick, most wrestlers now a day have them." El Blaze said.

"A gimmick?" Kanbei said.

"Yeah, a gimmick." El Blaze said, as we skip to later that night, notably we see Mikana and Sonja at an arena.

"See I told you going to an event like this would be entertaining." Mikana said as she smiled.

"Yeah, how would you know I'd be interested in wrestling?" Sonja said.

"Well, you are a blatant fangirl of the wrestler Paul London." Mikana said grinning.

"...Well you got me there, even if the author poorly implies it, though if it wasn't for Vince and his chubby for huge talent less wrestlers, I bet you he'd be doing a lot better."

"Or if he switched leagues." Mikana said.

"True...hey the special main event is starting." Sonja said.

"Ladies and gentlemen it is time for our main event, coming into the ring, El Blaze..." The announcer said as we skip to Mikana and Sonja for a quick bit.

"El Blaze? Wasn't he recently involved with the fifth Virtua Fighter Tournament?" Sonja said.

"He was, though I heard he got an invite to compete in a one-shot match...and as for this match I heard some other things happened which led him into getting into a tag team tables match." Mikana said as Sonja started to shake in her boots.

"He didn't..." Sonja said as she's about to mortified at the next words said...

"...and his partner Kanbei the Yellow Samurai..." The announcer said as Sonja...semi screamed...

"NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Sonja said...though some how no one notices...well except Mikana.

"What, you should be excited your father is trying his hand at wrestling." Mikana said.

"Well, it's more of the sight of him wearing tight dark yellow spandex that creeps me out." Sonja said as the author would like to apologize for giving everyone that image.

"And their opponents in this one-fall tables match...you know what, since these guys can't respect a division that has talent they don't need introductions I'm done with this." The announcer said as he obviously knows crap when he sees it, same goes for the audience who throwing random things at them.

"Stop that! You're all just jealous you aren't untalented pieces like us who are past our prime!" Bubba said as he gets hit with a cup.

"Yeah." Devon said as he got hit with a plastic bottle before hitting the ring.

"El Blaze I know lucha is your style and I know that you'd love to give a good show, but do you think we can wrap this up quickly, were running out of space in the fanfic." Kanbei said whispering in El Blaze's ear.

"Sure we can do that." El Blaze said as he and Kanbei somehow got tables and chairs very quickly and won the match pretty quickly...and since this fic is rated K+ none of it was shown...

"And your obviously better winners El Blaze and Kanbei the Yellow Samurai." The announcer said as El Blaze raise their hands in victory, then...

"You know if you ever get tired of the whole Emperor dealing you do have a future in wrestling."El Blaze said.

"All the while pulling a reverse Mike Haggar...well maybe." Kanbei said signing his share of autographs until his daughter came up to him.

"You will not be doing anything of the sort and as your daughter, I will make sure that you wont." Sonja said obviously angry at the incident she had to see while Mikana is getting an autograph from El Blaze.

"Oh come on, just because your father put on..." Kanbei said as Sonja interrupted him

"No father do not mention that image again!" Sonja said somehow dragging her father out of the area.

"But daughter..." Kanbei said being dragged out of the area while a sweatdropping Mikana, and El Blaze were watching.

"So any chance you need a manager of some kind?" Mikana said.

"Well see." El Blaze said as we skip to about a few weeks later showing Kanbei and Sonja and somehow Grimm and Sensei...who of course don't get any lines here watching some wrestling again.

"You know daughter it's great that you finally admitted to your love of wrestling. Kanbei is proud." Kanbei said.

"Well, it just takes time to get used to something same goes for shonen-ai, and yaoi but that's a different story all together." Sonja said...thinking something was up, since Mikana was strangely absent from the base. "Hey! Where's Mikana I usually expect her to make a quip here about yaoi and such she's fangirlish about that." Sonja said as a notable sight came up on the TV.

"Now entering the ring is El Blaze..." The announcer on the TV said...while Kanbei said something.

"Now truthfully I didn't get a chance to say anything else about his moves but..." Kanbei said as the announcer said something notable.

"...And his manager, Mikana Sanezin!" The announcer said as this left the entire gang watching mostly speechless.

"I have nothing else to say...just end the chapter." Sonja said.

End Ch. 33

"I also have nothing to say."


End file.
